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I'm curious; is this belief part of your religion, or a personal belief of yours? It's your body, which means it's your choice what you do with it even if that choice seems to others to be something detrimental to you. (I would say pushing yourself to share sex even if you're low energy could...

I'm still processing, but I ended things with Facets yesterday. Even though he texted me when he got back from dealing with his family situation, he pretty much immediately went back to not answering my texts. A few times, I waited about 24 hours then texted again saying, "Did you get my text?"...

Your definition of "transparency" is different from mine, and, it seems, different from your wife's as well. That's the problem with words like "transparency"; they don't necessarily mean the same thing to everyone. To me, transparency means honesty. It means, for one thing, that I expect to be...

Ah, got it. The way you explain it here, in my opinion, would be manipulation and dishonesty.

I don't know if it was *totally* out of the blue (it was a result of me saying my sexuality was being defined by Hubby's, and I wasn't okay with that anymore), but Hubby's saying "I've thought about it and I'm okay with you seeing other guys" certainly felt like it came out of the blue...

We opened our marriage a bit over five years ago. It was Hubby's idea, with the intention of addressing some incompatibilities between us. In other words, he suggested we open the marriage so that I could see other men and have some things I wanted that Hubby wasn't willing to engage in. At...

Scenario 1: I'll be the different one here and say yes, Phyllis did take away Frank's option to consent or not consent to sex with a married woman. It doesn't matter that it was only intended to be a one-night stand. Some people have ethical/moral standards that preclude interacting sexually...

My husband isn't a member of this site, but he is mono while I'm poly. My seeing other people was actually his suggestion; he figured out before I did what would work for me. I don't know that I'll be much help, but I can try to answer some questions both from his perspective and from the...

I definitely understand what you're saying. I'm glad you're out of the situation. I hope you're making time to take care of yourself. Condolences on your loss.

To me, it seems very disrespectful of him to text his other partner during his time with you, especially since your time with him is much more limited than hers. Does he also constantly text you when he's with her? My partners and I have agreements that we will not call or text other partners...

I'm sorry you've experienced this. At least you're out of that relationship now, and it sounds like you've learned from it, though it's unfortunate that lesson came in such a painful way. I can see you didn't intend any stigma toward mental illness, but I just want to point out your reference...

If you can't stomach even the thought that your partner might be having sex with a man, don't date women who have sex with men. Some people will say you're being bi-phobic. Some people will throw transgender people into the mix: "So you can't stand them dating a man, but what about a trans...

If your exact words to Scooter were "We're affectionate toward you," then "Oh, okay," probably meant "Yeah, that's obvious"... you know, since you engage in sex with him and all. Affectionate is a very vague word with a very broad meaning. I'm affectionate toward my cat. That doesn't mean I...

I can somewhat relate. Hubby has asked that I stay "in the closet" as far as his family is concerned, because he doesn't want to deal with the potential fallout if his conservative parents and other relatives find out that I'm poly. I tend to be as honest as possible, and if someone asks me how...

How does this apply in cases where there is no "first partner"? For example, a soly poly person who doesn't practice any form of hierarchy. Would you consider the person they've been dating longest to be their first partner? In my case, although I'm married, my husband doesn't practice poly at...

Kink is an innate part of my sexuality. At one point, around the time that we opened our marriage, Hubby tried to be my Dom. It didn't work; for him, it was "playacting," and he wasn't into it at all, which meant I got nothing out of it, which led to frustration and some resentment. If you've...

Just to clarify, a metamour is a partner's partner. Someone you date would be your nesting partner's metamour; someone your nesting partner dates would be your metamour. I wasn't certain from the way you've worded the sentence about things going well with your metamours if you were using the...

Thanks. I'm going to do my best to make sure he does understand what this did to me and what my boundary is if it happens again. (I.e. if it happens again, I won't continue seeing him.)

I understand what you're saying about communication. I define it differently; to me, communication includes both sides of the equation. The speaking/relaying of information, and the listening/processing of that information. If someone says something, and the other person isn't listening and...

To be a little fair (very little), he didn't exactly post anything on Fet. He accepted a friend request one day, and another one the next day, which showed up in my feed. On the other hand, he was away over Thanksgiving (which he told me about in advance) and wasn't able to text me then, and he...