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So, he says he loves other girls? Like, specific girls? And he's in love with them? Or does he mean that he just is attracted to other women? This seems like an important thing to clarify. You already know that the religion you were raised in doesn't have all the answers, since you found that...

Maybe a closed quad in which everyone is supposed to be involved with everyone else, and no outside relationships are possible, isn't the best model. Why have you chosen it, exactly? It puts a lot of pressure on all of these various combinations (as Mags articulated them) -- You and Scott You...

Your feelings seem pretty straightforward to me, and you explained them well. I don't think it's that you need your feelings explained, you seem to understand them perfectly -- you love your husband romantically (sexually/as a partner/etc). You love your friend platonically and feel enough trust...

Just because I feel like I'm not done talking about him: His eyes are more than one color at once. He's short, very short for a man, actually just a little shorter than me and I'm short for a woman. His build is slight but well toned. He's strong and flexible, but he's not heavy and solid the...

At my suggestion, Clay and I are experimenting with anal play. I just posted about our first foray in great detail on my tumblr. It's... wow. I didn't expect to enjoy it so much. Afterwards, I felt so incredibly close to him. Like if I found just the right way to line my body up with his and...

Thanks! Yeah, we're not always going to match up perfectly with our partners... it's one of the things that I like best about poly, feeling like it takes the unrealistic pressure off of a romantic relationship to be perfectly fulfilling in every way. It would be impossible for me to forget how...

Thanks, Evad. Gia has an on-and-off physical condition that's exacerbated by stress. The other day, it went into overdrive to the point that it's kind of incapacitating her with pain. She should be better in a few days, but... ugh, wow, I know there's other stuff going on with her, that stuff...

Wait, ok, I was staying out of this but then I looked at the Veaux article, and found the part where he mentions Carbon-14, and he got the stuff about coal by-products being more radioactive than nuclear waste from a Scientific American article which was quoting an actual scientist. He directly...

It seems to me like, if you two are planning to stay married, and if he and you are both ok with it emotionally, there's absolutely nothing wrong with having a mostly-sexless-open-marriage versus a sexless-open-marriage. Love is love, and it sounds like you love him, even if you don't desire...

Everyone having their own Google Calendar that they share with you, or perhaps with the entire group, really is the best. From there, you can say "Hey, I see we haven't spent much time together lately and I'd like to have that time with you. It looks like Thursday night is free for both of us...

"It's true that she has the right to not be interested in sex SOMETIMES, but only once in awhile. she needs to make a decision, here -- either to put more effort into reviving her attraction to you, or to let you go. It's absolutely not acceptable for women to withhold sex and yet to expect to...

Via a sperm donor or via another person who wanted to co-parent with you without displacing your husband... it wouldn't be a "traditional family" model, but its by no means impossible, especially in poly!

I got an IUD this winter and this -- "My periods were a little heavier, but I very rarely had cramps (never had PMS either)" -- exactly describes my experience thus far. If Q doesn't want bio kids that doesn't mean you can't have one or more of your own via a sperm donor. What role he would...

Just gonna add a ditto. Kids are self-absorbed, they care about how adults treat them, not about the nuances of the connections between those adults that don't pertain to them. I've read a number of accounts of kids raised in poly families, and it doesn't seem to bother them, with the exception...

I've had a number of relationships in my life, some mono, some poly. So far, my relationship with my married girlfriend Gia is the longest lasting, at 3.5 years and counting. Imagine if you were a young teen entering the dating world for the first time and asking us if traditional dating can...

Oh gosh. I hope she's ok! It's an incredible comfort to me to imagine, if something bad ever happened to me, waking up to see multiple partners waiting to see me. I know it's a weird thought, but it makes me feel very loved and secure.

Gia and I had a date to go to a class together on Sunday, with a couple of hours at my place budgeted afterwards. The class was pleasant. Afterwards, in my kitchen, I made us a snack and and we chatted about this and that. Finally, I asked the question that had been on my mind for days. I was...

Yeah, that sounds like a crap situation. Have you tried talking to everyone involved about your frustrations, and seeing if things can change? "The primaries don't need to check with the secondaries about anything, but as secondaries, we can't go catch a freaking movie without clearing it with...

It can be hard, or even impossible (not to mention pretty dang unfair) to ask someone to have sex and not develop feelings. Even worse would be letting the feelings develop and then yanking the rug out from under the two of them. What do you think you'll do if they do fall in love?

Davis IDs as straight. Not narrow in the least, but 100% with the only-liking-ladies-ever. This has always been just a little weird for me... since I don't feel entiiiiirely like a woman all the time (not like a man either, idek), it's felt sometimes like his love for me is conditioned on...