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It is very strange behaviour I agree.

Trust I've been thinking a little bit about trust recently. Partly because it is a subject that comes up so often here. Partly because trust, loss of trust and regaining it is something I've been writing about elsewhere about an old relationship of mine - one that ended through death rather...

I have not had to deal with poly being sprung upon me after a period of time in a monogamous relationship. But, I am in a monogamous relationship with a man who would probably prefer to have poly relationships (his views have changed and I'm not sure now how strongly he feels that). Anyway...

I would want to know pretty much straight away. I'd feel pretty deceived if somebody was dating me without disclosing an important part of their life like having children or a partner. I like to be able to make a choice about whether or not to get into a situation before any my judgement is...

Here's my take on the whole arguing for poly thing. I should say that I am in a relationship that is monogamous on both sides. My choice. My partner would prefer poly probably (his views have changed somewhat in the time we've been together). I came along here as part of researching poly...

I think that your worries here are unfounded. If you look at the relationships you have and maintain with the animals in your life, those are long term. You don't chuck your old cats out and replace them with kittens routinely. Nor do you have an ever increasing number of animals because you...

Being sexually harassed by male friends isn't something I've experienced. For me, sex either happens pretty soon after I meet a new person - usually on the first meeting - or never. I have plenty of male friends - some of them for most of my life. I've never had the experience of a male...

It is indeed very sad. Very sadly too, I suspect that there are few adult women who have never experienced some level of sexual harassment. Nothing significant mostly (I hope) - just that sort of low level, pat on the bum as you walk by, your appearance being the first thing people comment...

Thanks for the clarifications. :) It is clear that Rider doesn't deliberately behave badly toward anybody - just thoughtlessly and without empathy at times. Empathy is very important to me. It's something I value in others and it's something that has been part of me for the whole of my...

I don't think Rider is a bad person at all. I think he acts toward some of the people in his life in ways that would not be acceptable to me. That doesn't make him bad - just different from what I want to see in my world. What people are willing to accept isn't really how I tend to guide...

I'm really glad that it all went okay at the weekend and everything worked out. I found myself thinking lots about some of your reply to me. The thing is that I'm not all that convinced it matters all that much if somebody is purposefully callous or if their callous behaviour is as a result...

You had a really tough decision and time ahead, Journey. I'm hoping that you are able to convince your husband to work with you to find ways to make the changes you've experienced as easy on your children as possible. I'd wonder if what you say pushes buttons for MightyMax? You are writing...

It rather does sound like a recipe for breaking people's hearts. :( I wouldn't want to tell somebody else how to go about their lives either but I suspect I would run a mile from somebody as careless with the mental health of others as Rider seems to be.

I was reading through this thread this morning and also this morning was sent an old photo of something that my dad built and I wondered about your desire for multiple, deep, caring relationships. My dad was a man who structured his life around love and friendship. He built a life where those...

I think it is really important that these sorts of things are communicated clearly up front. And that Rider chooses FWBs wisely. I strongly suspect that Art has lost people he loves from his life at least in part because of not being clear about how he was doing poly. I know that it is an...

This here would be of greatest concern to me and I agree - is very clear indication of irresponsible behaviour. If two individuals agree that their approach to risk around STDs allows them to behave in a particular way then that is one thing. They are risking themselves - up to them. To...

Thanks for the recommendation. I'll have a read of it. I had a long time where I was deliciously slutty - loads of casual sex which I loved. Then a long time where I was pretty much asexual. I ended a long relationship because of a complete lack of desire. Then I felt very sexual again but...

I'm always saying that the best thing anybody could teach a child is disobedience and an ability to question the authority of anybody who claims to have it. Good things also to encourage in adults. Stanley Milgram's obedience to authority experiments are an excellent read on the reasons why...

Maybe. I don't really know - I don't think I've ever tried to deal with an adult who is jealous. With children and dogs, I don't see them as in need of help. Quite the opposite - often they are responding very appropriately to what is going on around them. Teaching children and dogs to...

This is fascinating and I thought about it on and off yesterday. I chatted to Art about it in the evening too. What I came to is that if it is possible to see jealousy as an emotion that arises from fear of losing something important, then I think it is very possible to see it as something that...