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I agree that you can't prepare for everything and that sometimes you just don't know. I think, though, what people can do is be realistic about themselves, their capabilities and the way they tend to lead their lives. I am heavily involved in working with and learning about dogs and lots of the...

I've always thought that poly is one of the things that warrants figuring out if it is something you are cut out for before you try it. People's emotions and well being sometimes are tied up in romantic relationships. So attempting a new way of going about them isn't like trying something like...

This is a fascinating discussion. I have no idea how I'd feel if a long term partner revealed something to me after such a long time together. I suspect that if the something revealed was something I found challenging, along with the concern about that, I'd also worry about what else was being...

Cats are pretty smart creatures and plenty of people train them in just the same way as they would train dogs. Search for clicker trained cats on youtube. You'll find loads. :D Most animals are far smarter than people imagine. There are people training bees right now. Simple tasks but what is...

I'm sad you're going through more tough times. As an outsider just reading your blog, you guys seem to go through a pattern. Things are good and you are both happy. Ring poly/open/some brand of non monogamous. Then one of you meets someone exciting (usually Rider). The other one finds it...

I'm so sorry to read this. I hope that you guys are able to work things out. Hugs to you.

This isn't really a poly problem. I think it happens in all sorts of relationships. I've experienced similar in a mono relationship with a close friend of my partner. They'd been friends for years before he and I got together and at first everything was fine. We were all friends. All great. Over...

I quite like spending NYE on my own. :D I really like to make plans for the following year and think back at the year just gone. Then, I really like to wake up on the 1st of January without a hangover and take my dogs for a lovely long walk somewhere peaceful. I also enjoy the time to read...

This sounds really tricky. The lack of sexual interest you feel sounds like it upsets your girlfriend. Even with you being happy for her to fulfill her sexual needs with other people, she doesn't seem happy. You say it comes up again and again - now she's expressing an interest in seeing a...

:D

I so much agree with you, Spork. I'm constantly surprised by how obsessed people are with a single notion of sex. I've always thought it seems really odd - like people are stuck in some kind of old fashioned teenage movie where 'going all the way' is what they need to do to prove themselves.

This popped up in my facebook feed. It's a UK comedian's take on Donald Trump winning - he makes some very good points particularly about the need to not see the Trump voters as a homogenous mass of racist woman haters. I think it is very clever so thought I'd share it with you guys. There...

Good news that you are planning to be thoughtful about your life. However, I think that your plan to wait for the climate to be good for you to get what you want is an unpleasant way to treat Be. It sounds like you plan to wait, knowing that you want a dramatic change to your relationship...

I think it is important to think things through and decide how you want to live. I see loads of positives in poly. When I first started learning about it, I was fascinated - thought it would be the answer to lots of things in my life. The idea of not needing to choose, of having more love - and...

In the last couple of years Scotland (and the UK as a whole) have gone through some troubling elections. In 2014 we had the indyref that asked people in Scotland to vote on should Scotland become an independent country. The election results showed that roughly 45% voted yes and roughly 55%...

Funnily enough, I landed here on this forum thinking that poly seemed like a great idea. I felt as if romantic relationships were way too constricting as they are normally conducted and thought that poly might be the answer. I'd spent 7 years single and very happily so - then had started...

I think that this sort of dynamic is more complex than that. I think that what people often do when a friend or somebody else close does something different is look at their own life and how they are living. They then - often - start to make excuses for why they can't do whatever it is they...

Early 30s is very much a time when people will have marry, have children and do family type stuff. This totally sucks for you because you are wanting to do things differently. It's really tough. I wonder if joining a poly group and seeking partners from among a pool who are committed to...

I wonder if your age may be playing a part? I spent most of my 30s single, having come out of a long relationship that lasted for the whole of my 20s. I was very happy being single but I found other people didn't like it. They were uneasy that I wasn't looking for a husband and worried that...

I wonder, though, if some of your problem wasn't fixed? You read to me like somebody who wants to be monogamous. You want one partner who you spend lots of time with and share an entwined life with. Even if the partner you are with has other sexual partners, a hard limit for you has always...