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Ah - I wondered if they were. For the moment, while you and the Writer sort things out between you, do you have any other friends that you are able to spend time with? Friends that are not part of the poly discussion? You sound depressed, lonely and in need of company outside of your...

Following on in agreement with Tinwen. No. Not a bad person at all. I don't see that it makes you poly either. To my mind, this doesn't point to poly relationships. I think that there are few humans in the world who only have a single deep relationship. Most folk have more than one (even if...

I Hey branches. Glad to have you here. The folks on this board are amazing at providing thoughtful help and support - that's why I like it so much. :D This really resonates with me. My partner has been spending way more time with me than normal for the past few months due to issues in his...

Thanks for starting this thread. It's been interesting to read everybody's experiences. In Vince's thread, LizziE asked this question: I was raised in a home with two younger siblings. We are all fairly close in age. There are 18 months between me and the middle child and another two...

I also don't really like the kid analogy. Yes - it explains how it is possible that feelings of love for multiples of the same sort of relationship can exist. Beyond that, it really isn't very useful IMO. Kids have no choice about whether to be born, what family to be born into or how many...

I think that the difficulty that many folks run into when they start to talk about commitment is that to lots of people (mono and poly), commitment in terms of a romantic relationship means some way of sharing finances and a home. There are plenty of folks on this board who live with multiple...

River - I feel for you. Your posts on this thread read as though you are suffering. It seems to me as if you very much desire to be right - to prove in some way that you did not tell you friend to shut up. Therefore, she was over reacting and you need not feel as if you must question yourself...

Oh River. You sound upset and a little bit angry with your former friend. I've read through the thread and wonder if you read Opalescent's excellent advice. I'm finding her words helpful just now in helping me to negotiate a somewhat similar situation to the one you are in. Mine is with a...

I notice that over the festive period, I tend not to see my friends who have kids unless I go to something that is child friendly and their kids come along. So I can kind of understand that if I had a partner who had children, I may not see them much over Christmas. Can you guys carve some...

I think this is such a common response to people when faced with a friend or loved one feeling anxiety. To tell them to avoid the source of the anxiety. Anxiety has been so much a part of me since I was child that if I'd developed avoidance as a habit, I probably wouldn't be able to leave my...

Shame Prof is so often tired. It seem really odd that he thinks it would be better if the relationship was closed at your end. I'd think that given he is the one who's struggling to keep up, it would be better closed at his end so he has more energy for you. But - it sounds as if you are...

Wow - I had no idea. I'm 42. I might turn up with my knitting if somebody invited me to watch Netflix and chill with them. lol. This forum is such a source of education. :D

I used to struggle lots with feelings of 'not being enough'. When I was younger I felt strongly that I didn't matter enough to have anybody prioritise me. Nothing bad ever happened to me. I think it was a combination of being born with a tendency toward anxiety (or developing it as an infant)...

Hey Warman. I'm sad to read the latest updates from you and Bluebird. It's tricky I think to deal with disagreements in a new relationship. It is clear from Bluebird's blog that she is incredibly caring and loving. She goes to huge lengths to spend time with all of her men. I can see why...

Hey Kev. Yes - but not any more suited for RA than for any other form of relationship. I think that SweetPea Rules are a much better way to go about relating to all beings regardless of what the relationship structure is. :)

I would doubt if there are many people alive - at least in the UK and the US - who are not familiar with that concept. It filters through all of our society. Look at how school children first learn - they learn to fear the red crosses on their work and getting things wrong. As they grow up...

If applying this to poly, I'd be thinking more widely. Relationships don't just start and then end. You need to pay attention to what is going on while they are happening and adjust them as you are going on. I suspect poly folks are fairly good at doing this on the whole. Also - it is not...

So. Sweetpea followers will use basically two techniques. 1. They will set things up so that the other is more likely to succeed and if what they do doesn't work, they see that as their responsibility and change the plan for next time. 2. They provide extensive feedback about what is going...

Thank you. I very much appreciate you taking the time to make that clear. :) I do have a thing here that might be interesting to discuss regarding ethics. So - a number of people on this thread and in other places on this forum have discussed that they dislike couple privilege. I see...

River, I'm sad for you that it is hard for you to find what you seek in love. I hope that you are able to find somebody else to love who loves you just as much in return. I tend to interpret the whole "creating our own reality" in a psychological way too. :)