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Oh - I'm sad for you that things are tough going right now. :( I read Bluebird's blog and know how much she puts into her relationships and I feel that you are in safe hands with her. Just in case it helps, I felt for a long time after getting together with Art that things would always be...

Me too. :) One of the things I like most about this board is that people do discuss different points of view with respect and kindness. I think that learning happens at the edges of comfort zones and I tend to seek out people who are not like me but who are willing to discuss different view...

I should and meant to earlier, say that the reason I stick around here is that I love the way most of the people here write about their loves. I feel inspired by the efforts so many make to improve their lives. It remains heartening to read about personal struggles and see progress made. KC43...

nycindie and KC43 - thank you for your kind words. You guys are great. :) This is something I ponder on loads too. I wonder if facebook plays a part as well? Like you I was once in the position where I had changed my life so dramatically that my existing friends couldn't relate to what I...

MightyMax - thank you for the ongoing engagement in this discussion. I'm finding it incredibly useful in teasing out some of my thoughts about this. :) Plus - there is also the gift of River's fantastic thoughts about treating others ethically. I find so much of value in that piece of...

No worries. :) I'm not sure I do that so much as just don't see consent as relevant. To be clear - I think that consent is absolutely required when it comes to relationships and the person having enough autonomy to give consent is assumed too. I just don't see it as the only thing that is...

Hi River. Apologies and thanks. I think I was writing quickly before going to work and probably didn't phrase things very well. This is great. I really like those two parts. I would add a c (or maybe it is a subsection of b): Always seek to be with people and part of groups that support...

MightyMax - I see that my words and my perspective cause you to feel threatened/upset/angry. Perhaps it would be easier on you if you blocked me so that you can't read what I write. I know that you disagree with me. It is fine to disagree. I think I've been very clear often that everybody...

Sorry to hear about the job, nycindie. That totally sucks and I also would have been really upset. Well done, though, on your fabulous level of compassion toward your co-worker. How wonderful that you were able to be so kind. I don't think so. It depends too much on the people involved...

I have explained at length why. I quoted much of it in this thread and added a link to the thread where that discussion took place. I'm happy to discuss if you wish to read what I have already said. :) I say this over and over. I consider those relationships to have a tendency toward being...

I follow Bluebird's blog and I really enjoy it. She writes well and clearly takes care of everybody she loves incredibly well which makes it a lovely thing to read. I enjoy your blog too. :) It is wonderful to have a new love and both you and Bluebird have expressed frustration at not having...

Thanks for the reply, Jane. Sounds like the folk that you work with are incredibly lucky to have you. :)

Sounds like you are learning more and more and have talked and keeping notes is a really good idea so that you can see what has/hasn't changed. Giving Prof a little time to see if he is willing and able to make changes in himself seems like a reasonable thing to do - although it would be...

I should say before I start that this is not stuff I expect anybody else to do or agree with. :) I'm aware that I am the weirdo - which is pretty much standard for me. I was an overthinker as a child, did a degree in philosophy in my early 20s and then have spent the last 18 years working as...

Oh man. :( Apart from anything else - so the same person who accuses you of too much communication, too much discussion of dates and scheduling is now accusing you of not talking about BD limits? Seriously? Also - this is somebody who considers himself to be an expert at this stuff. As the...

That's my understanding too. The thing is that clear, open and honest are all necessary elements for an ethical relationship but on their own they are not enough. There is nothing special about polyamory that makes its practitioners any more ethical in their approaches than the people who...

This is probably a big part of your problem. If folk are initially reluctant and need to be talked into it, they probably aren't all that into what you suggest and are more likely to leave. Maybe you need to adjust your own expectation of other people. You are deeply in love with a partner...

I have not updated this for ages. It was a reasonably stressful summer between one thing and another. I took on extra caring responsibilities, Art had work and family stress, my work was busy and some of my closest friends have been and are going through tough times. This weekend and last...

Enjoy your camping trip. I hope it's peaceful for you and that your kids have a great time. It's too cold just now in Scotland for camping but we do enjoy it in the summertime. Especially the kids of the family. :) Hmmmm - this sort of thinking is very often used to control women. Even...

Hi to you too in that case. :) This is also lovely to read about. Especially that you are able to co-parent and get along with your husband even though you have decided to separate. So inspiring. Thank you for writing.