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The difference is consent. You are not harming someone, because you are acting with their consent. When you refuse to take no for an answer, THEN it becomes harm. You have to make a distinction between "hurt" and "harm". I had to accept that I, as a unique individual, have needs that aren't...

BDSM isn't all about sex for everyone. For me it's about the power exchange, and you can't "see" that from an external standpoint. The smack on the butt might be normal interaction for some people, but I know when my husband does it to demonstrate his dominance, and I can tell the difference...

Easter was very nice for me. There was some stress associated--Asha's best friend and the godfather to her children is in a new relationship, and she feels that he is allowing his NRE to allow her children to be treated as less important. But there was good food and for the most part we were...

Yes, one can argue that you must stand up for your rights or they will be taken away from you. But, in my opinion, when I chose to have children, I chose to take responsibility for their health and well-being. Having them placed in a foster care home is not to their benefit. (I find it...

I saw Sunday for the first time in three weeks yesterday. I was disappointed that he didn't seem to miss me at all. He didn't speak to me at all for the two weeks he was in England, and he barely spoke to me yesterday. Sigh. Asha had assured me that the little bit of focus he gives me shows...

Moving into Asha's house didn't work. I have to pick my own kids up from school and deposit them at my house, make dinner for everyone, then go to Asha's house, 40 minutes from my house. People weren't getting to bed on time, homework wasn't getting done. Then I tried staying at my house but...

It is amazing to me how much this paragraph sums up my experience, too. I was so angry and resentful that my husband didn't seem to value me as much as I felt he should--I felt, what does it matter if I love myself, if no one else seems to love me? But the piece I was missing was that, if I...

Okay, I admit it. I've been hiding out, nursing my sore ego. I just can't deal with Sunday, so I've been avoiding it. Our Valentine's date never happened. What happened was that the weekend after Asha got back (March 19th/20th) Sunday called and invited us to go out to dinner with them. We...

I hesitated to say anything because I haven't been active in a while and I'm really out of the loop. I think you got some very good advice and I hope it helps. I did want to suggest that you look at the next period of time not as a punishment, but as an opportunity. You need a break. You...

Sunday responded, late last week. I spent a lot of time going around and around about whether I ought to have e-mailed him, but I'm convinced that NOT telling him I would be upset would be a lot like setting him up to fail. He said that he didn't intend to make me feel like he didn't want to...

So, sometimes when I talk to Asha she talks over me. I've actually seen discussions on how certain areas of the country and certain cultures find this normal and acceptable, so I'm not really upset by it, but it makes it difficult for me to communicate with her face-to-face because I was taught...

Just got home from Asha and Sunday's house. I'm in a better place, but still unhappy. Asha is going on a trip for ten days starting next weekend, but Sunday made it clear that he intends to spend a lot of time alone while she's gone. Then, I found out that he's going skiing with someone else...

The date didn't happen. We rescheduled for today, but it's snowing so he's going to take off work early so he can get home early, so no lunch. I'm in an unhappy place, so I'm keeping my mouth shut and eating carbs. I held out for an entire morning. I'm not responding to other threads in the...

I have much love for The Practical Princess, another collection of feminist fairytales, but sadly it's both out of print and models monogamous relationship styles, so doesn't qualify.

I'm sorry, I have to be the dissenter. (I went back and tried to edit so that my words weren't too unkind, I hope that I don't come off as too harsh.) People know what lying is, and he knew that he was going to hurt you. Even if there was no happy choice available, he knew that he was taking...

New relationship energy is an explanation for behavior, not an excuse. The chemical reaction in the brain is well known to cause poor decision-making and lack of forethought. That doesn't make it right when you hurt people who love you. I have a pre-diabetic condition, so sometimes my blood...

Um...I'll admit to being far from an expert...but saying you're into BDSM is short-hand to let people know that you're kinky, and doesn't mean that everyone involved in the BDSM lifestyle is into the same thing, like sadism. Furthermore, it doesn't mean that all of the males involved are...

There are three books for younger children listed at http://www.polychromatic.com/kids.html. The reviews there are wonderful and I recommend that you take a look if you're interested, and the links to buy them are there as well. Else-Marie and Her Seven Little Daddies by Gabrielle Charbonnet...

Yay! Look, I can actually provide real information for once! Love You Two, by Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli :) :) :) for Young Adults (the protagonist is 16) Excerpt from the first customer review on amazon.com: "Love You Two is the first novel from Australian academic and researcher Maria...

Maybe you could try telling him something like, "This is hard for me. I have to work to be able to share you. When you downplay it and make it seem like your other relationships aren't anything special, you make me wonder **why is he doing this to me if it isn't going to enrich his life???**"...