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Wow, a lot of great replies! I am feeling much better today, and have taken some of the suggestions that I saw. @SNeaCail--I like your suggestion about e-mails. I sent one today, just telling him I thought he was doing a great job planning an anniversary thing for Asha. It made me feel more...

I'm trying not to respond, because I'm really angry about this. You have a right to your feelings. You *do* deserve his support, his loyalty, his devotion, his help rebuilding the relationship. Easy and I were in this place a little over a year ago, not through cheating but through simply...

Well, there's a reason he stopped communicating with me. He handled NRE poorly, and experienced a lot of marital problems because of it. He (rightly) took some time apart, and I agreed to back off while he figured things out. We've just never managed to regain that closeness. He doesn't seem...

Talks with Sunday are incredibly difficult. Before we became a quad, it was easier, but now it's more like he's trying to run away. I have no idea what to do. Our talks usually start out with me saying something like, I need to talk to you about X. He says okay. I talk and talk and talk...

What an interesting two weeks it's been. Last weekend, we all spent the night at a friend's cabin, and we spent some time reconnecting. I thought it was great, even if later in the week I felt a twinge as I watched Sunday and Asha cuddling and wished that I could cuddle, too. This weekend, we...

Well, really, there wasn't a jump from family to polyamory, it was more like, we made a jump from two different families to one, in our eyes. The responses everyone has given you describe a lot of what we ended up doing. A lot of research, a lot of talking, a lot of mistakes that had to be...

I've really got nothing to add about swinging, as I don't have the experience of being a swinger. But you did ask if anyone else "accidentally" became poly, and that's me. I wasn't looking for it, and I was actually anti-poly (for myself), when I found the right people. Our relationship...

I am so sorry. I can not agree with this. If he values the relationship, then he takes it at your pace. There was forward movement, and he decided that wasn't good enough for him. *He* sought out another relationship when he was supposed to be giving you time and space. *He* decided that...

Oh boy... Have you considered what happens when a monogamous couple says, "We aren't committed enough, so we will have a baby to fix that"? I have never heard of this ending well. If you can't reinforce your relationship bonds without having kids, then your relationship can't be fixed, bubba...

Yup, I vote for option B. Easy has been able to flirt with other women for years and years without making me jealous. The worst jealousy I felt for him was when I realized that that woman he'd been spending *so much* time with, who he'd taken out *instead of me* so many times, was also the...

Thanks, I had heard that but totally forgot about it. He is religiously doing low-carb, so I'll see if I can talk him into some honey.

Another packed-full weekend. We spent time running errands, both separately and as the big family. Sunday is miserable with allergies, and we discussed how moving might help him. Apparently, for a few years after you move to a new area, you have some allergy relief. I don't want to move...

GS, I *am* an idealist. I still believe that you can somehow find a few people who will not judge you--but will give you a kick in the pants if you need it!--to be in your community. Probably this is unrealistic, but I'm not sure I can exist in a world without that hope. There's been much...

Thank you all. Due to the responses I've read on this thread, and the research I've done with the local BDSM community and on FetLife, I've gained new understanding, something I've been seeking for nearly two years. I'm a submissive who is not into pain or humiliation. I've happily learned...

Hmmm... By this definition, all monogamy would be serial, except in the very rare case where a person only loves and is in a relationship with one other person for their entire life.

I am excited! It feels weird to me, but I'm so comfortable and happy surrounded by these people. I'm so happy and comfortable when I can let go and not feel weak or ignorant when I let Easy be in charge. I loved the sub meeting, which is very unusual because I hate social situations. No one...

Redpepper, the definition I'd heard for serial monogamy was someone who sought out monogamous relationships, but eventually would seek out a new person and cheat. Then the first relationship would go down in flames, the serial monogamist would swear to be faithful to the new love, and then...

I read some of the replies, but this is a long thread so I skipped. :) Sorry if I'm repeating what someone else said. Redpepper, I think, taking the analogy of the watermelon, that you're missing the question, was it worth it to eat the watermelon instead of sticking only to oranges for the...

I went to coffee with a member of the BDSM support group this morning. My brain is buzzing! I'm so thrilled and excited and happy! She was fabulous. Wonderful. Made me feel so comfortable, answered all of my questions and had some suggestions. I'm THRILLED. Things kept clicking in my head and...

I need to qualify my answer as well...when we were given an opportunity, Easy said, "I will follow whatever decision you make" and wouldn't tender an opinion. So, technically, I chose to open our relationship to poly, which is a decision I take responsibility for. However, there was a looooong...