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Where's the smiley face with a grimace on it? It's tough to explain. Essentially, so far no one has felt comfortable separating from the group. I think Easy feels too much like it's cheating. I've suggested it a couple of times, and he keeps saying, "That's not what I signed up for. We're...

Yes, this is definitely part of it. I would feel bad if Easy treated me that way. I don't understand this part of either Asha or Easy, and I don't know how to reconcile that emotionally. I understand intellectually that if she has a problem, she can speak up at some point, but making my head and...

So, Saturday night, Easy, Asha, and I were all together. (Sunday opted out for various reasons.) Easy dominated Asha and had her do some things which made me uncomfortable, but she did them. I think I'm finding them triggering, because it's been bothering me ever since. Not huge...

=D I like mantras, frankly I have so many negative voices in my head that I have to combat them *somehow*. The sacrifice cycle is also something that happens to mothers. Mothers sacrifice for their children, that's what they're supposed to *do*. The best thing we can do for our children is...

Thank you! I also managed to stumble across another thread where this was used. P.S. Mind if I quote you in my signature? I think "Let's not confuse the neophyte" pretty much describes how I feel most of the time.

Speaking as the "mono" partner who found out months down the road that Easy was in love with Asha before he talked to me about poly, it doesn't make it easier to accept. I spent a long time feeling used and that they manipulated me in order to get what they wanted. I also spent too much time...

I have a theory about this which I have expounded on relentlessly until Easy's ears bleed. All of the romantic movies, what do they show? They show romantic relationships that are easy. They show people who only fight about superficial things, who come to compromises easily, who sacrifice...

Um... What does that mean exactly? Does that mean that you believe there should only be one penis involved in a relationship? Or one in an encounter? I'm sorry, maybe I should put "hopelessly vanilla" in my signature.

OMG I thought I was going nuts...I read this thread earlier and then I came back and I couldn't figure out how I had missed so many posts!

Please explain. I'm still out here, and I have no idea what OPP is.

Well, it sounds like the typical religious zealot who believes what he wants to believe whether or not reality supports it, and makes up what he wants to call "facts". I like how monogamy is child-friendly and poly is adult-centered. Hey, does that mean I don't have to be a parent any more...

Define successful? I am part of a quad comprised of two married couples. The quad has "officially" existed for just over a year, with friendships running for two or three years before that. We didn't start out looking for a relationship, though; it just developed over time. I completely...

I'm not going to post much, I think there have been some really great posts already. I do feel the need to put my 2cents in, though. You say that you are "a bad person". We all make mistakes and do things we're not proud of. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself so that you can move...

Having been diagnosed with Aspberger's, you have to know that you are not able to communicate in the same way that most people are. You are going to be bad at reading body language, facial expressions, and tone. So I would like to kindly suggest that perhaps your wife is unaware that you feel...

I understand having problems you're embarrassed about. It takes a lot of courage to stand up and say that you do have that problem. But it's extremely important that you *do* stand up, that *someone* stands up, so that other people don't have to go through the same pain that you have. You...

Why are you torturing yourself? It's really okay to be monogamous, as long as you're being honest with yourself and your partner. You have the right to live your life in a manner that's best for you. It pushes my buttons when someone passes judgement on you for not living the same way they...

You may have made my day. :D I think I need a t-shirt...

I feel like I'm holding my breath. Easy and I discussed how my parents' messed up relationship and a couple of extremely bad break-ups may have caused me to try to prematurely end relationships where I don't feel completely secure. We agreed that at the very least I won't do anything drastic...

I would think that a "basic quad" would be one where four people are involved in a relationship with one another in some form. However, we all know that poly doesn't follow rules, and I've heard of all different kinds of quads. In my quad the men are intimately involved with both women but...

It's been forever since I posted an update, so I feel like I need to, but I feel so down today that I'm going to try to keep it as unemotional as I can. About three weeks ago, we attended a school event as a family. Monkey, Ocean, and Rockstar all attend the same school. Easy was very...