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I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm not sure if what I say is going to be helpful. I agree with you; a veto will only cause resentment and hurt. But, but sounds like A wants veto power. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like veto power was not agreed on in your relationship? Has he...

I totally agree that your bf should have not gone behind you're back. That's not cool. QUOTE=Bembem;427851]I think i am having a problem with this girl because she did tell my bf that she wants more contact between them. She is allowed to voice these feelings; in fact, I think it is good she...

I've had meta issues...but Im not really sure where your issue with her is? She's new to poly but...what else? The only other reason I see are the fact you have some insecurities and fears. Like they're developing feelings for each other...that doesn't take love away from you. Was she told you...

It doesn't work for us; We select it and then still 9/10 people who show up have their profile set to "monogamous". We tried uninstalling and reinstalling.

How recently? WHile you two can work together to help her with this baggage and have things move more comfortably for all parties, this is something in the end she alone has to work on and deal with. You can't fix her hang-ups. To me, this sounds like she has some sour grapes. She isn't...

That's what I was trying to explain. I'm a very high sex drive person, like I'm up for sex more often than I'm not. And very sexually attracted to all my partners. So for me I just used the good NRE feelings and let them bleed into the rest of my se life as well. I was very straight forward with...

Please don't go with my advice. My and Z have always had a really amazing sex life, so I just used the overflow and redirected the NRE obsession. All of the other information you provided (esp b/c I don't remember the previous thread), has definitely changed my opinion. You and your husband...

Okay so, I want to say I'm not a fan of NRE for myself. It makes me anxious. The thing is, with the libido portion, is to let it just...exist. I didn't lose interest in Z, but I did become more fixated on fucking B. So, when B wasn't around and NRE made me horny, I'd think about all the amazing...

I think this is a whole matter of perspective too. For me, I can know with some people if I really want it to be a long term relationship ASAP, and while I'd never have it be exclusive since...2 husbands and a girlfriend...I've had some where it's like "I am ready to date another person ASAP and...

Also, tbh, it really sounds like you DID make a hierarchy but in a very unhealthy way. You shoved your wife to second place in affection...and in how beautiful you view her. Like...I dunno. If either of my partners didn't value how I look and scaled it as "person X is more beautiful that you or...

Im sorry you're in pain, break ups suck. I hope my advice isn't too blunt. I understand the feeling of it feeling important. I get sad when I can't legally (or, even where I am, no paperwork filed marriage is still not legal) to B. We're doing a very private handfasting (in a different dang...

some questions are going to be a repeat Even casual flings can be sustainable. My new girlfriend is a casual relationship; my two other partners are just...happy for me. We're going about it the same way I went about it before-what happens happens and what matures matures. She has a NP and...

Basically while pursuing her, for us to have sex h I'd be the only one initiating; if I didn'twe didnt have sex. "Hey wenonly had sex when you made a move but I bought J this sex toy and now she hurt me again" was not an ideal situation. We are a high sex drive family. Since they stopped being...

What vinsanity said. Really find out what has triggered this jealousy; what is making you feel insecure, or scared of? Ask yourself is this a rational fear? Sometimes what we're worried about is rational; other times it's a knee-jerk reaction. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. We're...

I guess feeling vindicated just felt almost like I was being petty? Looking over it now with some more distance, a lot of it was the fact that honestly, he has yet to ever share a good quality of hers with me (Seasoneds example with the parents not wanting a spouse over comes to mind). I...

Thanks guys!

Maybe update? Okay so I'm going to kinda put some thoughts together on where I am with this right now, and maybe you all can help me see if I'm on the right track? -When DADT is agreed on, stick to it; that is okay to do and a good boundary. It is healthier for both parties when it is stuck...

Definitely worth exploring. Thank you

It feels that way because I ferl like I'm not doing enough or being supportive enough. Saying spare the details for happy stuff doesnt bug me; it's saying it when they're hurting. I want to help them hurt less, so if they want to talk I listen.