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I'm chosing to just say nothing to him about my opinion on the status of their relationship, is that still not controlling? I think maybe the hearing about it was a bad idea and probably neglecting my need

For sure. For me it would feel so...unloving...to not listen

Thanks. It's definitely hard to say "i love you but spare the details "

Remind me in what way she was being a good friend? In what way she she conducive to a happy healthy relationship? I WANT him to have that besides me, but does anyone want a partner to be with someone who is not healthy?

Oh yeah I'd definitely wait; because as well once he's not hurting so much he may realize on his own about how hinky it was. And I don't want to hurt him more. Salt in a wound is never really a good idea. Less valued is a good way of phrasing it. And honestly until the whole wedding gift...

I wish I knew how to bring it up and phrase it without sounding like a money grubbing or selfish person; it's not the money really...it's just...I can't even put it into words why it really hurts; like what part hurts I don't want to bring it up when I can't even phrase it in a constructive...

He got the gift before...but like the day before. But she had led him on in the past too. And I'm getting a tattoo, and yesterday he was like "making this a wedding gift to yourself ;)" and i was like "or you could contribute as a wedding gift" and he didn't pick up that. I also had no plans on...

Honestly? G doesn't sound like he wants to work on anything. Which sounds like a warning sign for any type of relationship structure; all relationships need work

This seems to be an overwhelming issue, and I'm sorry for you. I'm going to try to organize my thoughts in order. TO me this is a red flag about him going to be very controlling in this. Did you know this before opening up this relationship? DID you tell him you disagree? Did you guys discuss...

Also, I'm not going to lie...although they've been friends for like 10+ years...her birthday is soon so he told her "you pick a gift, and I'll pay for it". Which...on it's own? Honestly I didn't care....but when the day after she pulled her stunt he told me what it was; it was worth a lot. I've...

I for sure agree your style is easier! Not having to deal with the interpersonal issues is a major bonus. At the same time, when things go smoothly, it's amazing.

Having/being a hinge in a V seems to be the most common relationship set up, but it seems there is also some variation and confusion on what people view as the hinges role with meta interaction. Does it vary based on poly style? Based on meta relationship? I'm a bit torn; the hinge is...

BACKSTORY sorry it's long! B was the hinge in a V between me and J. For various reasons, I did not trust J. When he asked my opinion, I was honest and told him that while I have not talked to her enough myself to have a very informed opinion; from all he has told me I did not trust her. I'm...

you friend them I guess? It has pictures or even a chat function...so you could do either? It is more casual/light hearted/fun than texting and means the person doesn't need your cell number? I'm not sure I understand this question in terms of relevance? Either way it is simply a form of...

Also the tone of the question/contet are helpful for answering this. Partner simply asks "hey, would you/this date mind if I had their number and maybe talked to them?" or "I know you had some negative experiences, and/or are nervous, would it be helpful if I helped vet this person?" and then...

My question is what consequences are you afraid it will have? And I've absolutely had NRE bleed over into other relationships...my polycule enjoys it. What we don't enjoy is when someone gets ignored because NRE has taken over.

I need more context. 1) Did I ask them to talk to my potential date? 2) If they asked, why did they ask? 3) If they asked and I said no, how did they react? Asking if they can talk with a potential date first is WEIRD to me, but like...if I asked them to then I couldn't argue. I'm Kitchen...

That makes me wonder what other people have for reasons for KT style poly. I like making new friends for sure; but I want to trust people in my life. I have family I don't even trust and so I treat them accordingly. It's hard for me to feel comfortable with even FRIENDS seeing someone I'm like...

I know for me because I have had some trauma getting to know the neta is what makes me comfortable with my partners fluid bonding with others. It's not the I don't trust my partner's; if I don't know my meta i don't trust them. When you don't trust a person...how can you be comfortable? It's...

If you look at the future, what would your ideal relationship with a meta be? Friends, just someone you know of in passing, acquaintances? Sometimes knowing what we want in terms of the whole encompassing polycule helps. I know for me what I find hard is not if my partner is with another...