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    Starting out "full poly" vs. opening up slowly

    I agree with this 100%. I'm sorry I misread your post. I reread it and I definitely did. I apologize. That caused my answer to be incorrect in the context you provided. Thank you for pointing that out to me. I did not intend to use it as validation, and I see how it looked that way in context...
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    Starting out "full poly" vs. opening up slowly

    Even then, I think it 100% depends on the situation. To say that going as fast as the slowest person is bad totally negates the fact that it really isn't for all dynamics. Opening up a mono relationship at the start has a different dynamic than poly people dating poly people. The start, almost...
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    Hierarchies

    I agree 100%! Lots of people DON'T explain this and pretend that all will be equal when it isn't, and that is WRONG. By not proving that info it doesn't allow someone to make any sort of informed consent on what they;re getting themselves involved with and isn't okay. I think for a lot of poly...
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    Starting out "full poly" vs. opening up slowly

    Honestly, this is one thing I disagree with. We started with a threesome. Legit, just a no-strings-attached, only as a group, threesome. We expected to have nothing more than maybe FWBs with others, basically, swinging. But it freaking evolved from there, because we decided to not be afraid to...
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    Open vs Poly

    I find it's less people being told new things, and more how they are told. People listen to empathy; tough love rarely makes a good impact. You can be a shoulder AND someone giving advice. GalaGirl and Kevin somehow manage what you cannot
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    Hierarchies

    ^^^ This! Thank you for saying it so well!
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    Hierarchies

    But, what if, someone does not have any of the above issues? What if said person has their own voice, knows how to use it, and is willing to not accept certain demands, demands respect, and can and will bail if they need to or want to? Myself as an example; I would enter a relationship as a...
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    Hierarchies

    Can you elaborate? I think I'm picking up what you're putting down I just want to be sure
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    Epiphany

    I like to say I'm physically recovered but mentally still not 100%. Like...a solid 80% but that 20% can still fuck with a person
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    Torn between primary and new relationship

    Okay, so I'm touch confused, so I'm just going ot get some clarification first. :) So, with your discussions, what are his new restrictions? What does everything look like currently? What were his reasons for the change of tune on basically everything? Did he have any reason for this? Any...
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    Hierarchies

    I agree. If people have consent and it's very open and very honest, that's their life. Honestly, if there was a couple where I wanted to date both of them...I may do a unicorn thing. It wouldn't be the most serious relationship; and while I would do things like MAYBE babysit or do like a...
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    Open vs Poly

    Maybe because we're capable of saying "This is what they consider proper [FOR THEM] and would work [FOR THEM]" since we all seem capable of that basic level of understanding :rolleyes: idk dude, it doesn't actually seem that hard to read into what they're saying. Especially when you apply some...
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    Reassurance and Hierarchy

    I agree. Also, it's not accurate to discount the fact that having financial security DOES affect peoples choices. SHOULD someone stay with another person JUST BECAUSE they provide for them financially? Fuck no. If you do that you're using a person and that's wrong. If you love them, and want...
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    Hierarchies

    To me it also shows what seems like some insecurity too. I agree with this 100% --- Kevin, For sure! Consent to relationship set ups is key and they should be discussed first! As well as the fact that, if part of the polycule have a legal marriage to someone, or a mortgage, lease, kids...
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    Open vs Poly

    I want to say I'm proud of you for this; for setting up that boundary and giving yourself space to have the emotions you needed when you needed how you needed. It seems odd to me too. It also seems quite drastic, but I suspect he's either making a rash choice out of emotions or, I mean this...
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    Reassurance and Hierarchy

    I was lucky that B never really felt super insecure about his place in the relationship V. I also am I firm believer that relationships do need time to develop and grow and gain 'importance' or raise up on the hierarchy. Now that we all live together, and have for a year and a half, and have a...
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    Epiphany

    It makes perfect sense to me. Childhood conditioning can definitely become a roadblock. I've done therapy; graduated from it whole nine yards. But there are certain things you've assumed you've dealt with until something triggers those buried feelings. Which because you've thought you handled...
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    Epiphany

    I had an epiphany so I guess I'm hunting for validation and some input Honestly this emotional release makes me want to cry but I'm at work So I realized some of my fears/insecurities came from my childhood of not being equal to my brother, not being appreciated by parents,, past abusive...
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    Hierarchies

    Hierarchical polyamory, when I first discovered I was poly, seemed to be much more accepted than now only like...2 years later. I used to really hate the idea of it; but I now don't I just look at it differently and see that there are different types to me imo. Type A- The initial couple is...
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    When to tell the kids

    I think the question was aimed at sex on vacation?
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