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I haven't read the other thread you referenced, but I did read this thread straight through, and I feel like I'm missing something. If you had told her in advance, "I think it's in the best interests of our children for me to change my insurance so that they are my beneficiaries, and I'm making...

I don't believe in sharing details, and I would really like to not know details about Easy and Asha that I don't already know. I think that would make me feel more like I was being compared, or that maybe Easy was telling me something so that I would change what I was doing. What helped me was...

Radical Acceptance is in at the Library. :) My date with Sunday didn't happen. He called to cancel, telling me that a mutual friend--Asha's best friend--was in the hospital for chest pains. (He's going through a divorce and it was his wife's birthday, so we were pretty sure that he was...

Patience, Carma, and steadfastness. You're not doing anything wrong. No one else gets to live your life for you, and if you allowed her to steal your joy it would end up hurting the both of you, whether she realizes it or not. I would just keep living my life the way that made me happy and hope...

It all turned out okay. :) I pouted for a few minutes, then I got mad and informed him that I looked too darn pretty to be treated with anything less than the best. I think he found it amusing and enjoyed being at my beck and call all evening. A great time was had, much sushi eaten, and I'm...

So, I'm showered, I'm lotioned, I'm scented. I'm wearing make-up and jewelry. My shirt is so low-cut that I have to wear a matching bra, and my skirt is so tight that I have to hobble. I thought I looked pretty awesome. Easy hit the door and said something along the lines of, "Oh hey honey...

Well, Easy and Asha are on a date. I think this is their first "real", romantic date, where they get dressed up and go to a restaurant and the whole purpose is to spend time together and NOT to discuss schedules or other family members or anything like that. Yesterday I was a mess, I think...

Sort of, Mono. It came out of a conversation they were having on Polyfamilies about bad experiences people have had as secondaries.

The more you practice, the easier it gets, but yes, sometimes situations like this one still happen. I feel for you; I empathize, really, because it still happens, even though we're in a better place now. What I was trying to put forward is that I think the jealousy was probably more based in...

This last weekend was full of arguing and making up, typical of a family. Asha was upset with the guys, just for typical guy stuff, there was much apologizing, but I think things are resolved now. It's actually nice to fight every once in a while to help reassure me that fighting doesn't equal...

Hello, I don't post often, as I'm exploring other aspects of my relationships right now. However, I've been married 20 years, and we've been poly for 2. (Second anniversary next month. Woohoo!) I went into poly with my eyes open, but I later found out that Easy (my husband) and Asha (our...

I waffled over apologizing. I'm sorry if I came off too mean. I've been surrounded by too many "One True Wayists" lately, and I think I'm starting to feel a little prickly. Bottom line, I guess, is to be as kind as you are able to be.

Here I am, sticking my nose in. I tried to keep my mouth shut, but that card gets my back up. It makes it sound like anyone who uses the word "secondary" is out to hurt someone. Yes, I'm a secondary. Yes, I have secondaries. Do I intend to hurt them? No. Do they intend to hurt me? I don't think...

I love the origami idea! She loves to have a seasonal centerpiece on her table, and we could certainly achieve something cool with origami. I love these ideas. :) And not just for Asha...it's so nice to have ideas to do for friends that are feeling down, that won't stress my miniscule...

I'm loving these ideas! I'm watching the kiddos while Sunday and Asha go out tonight, so I'm in good, hee hee hee. See that bus I just threw Easy under? Poor guy. LOL. No, really, I'm writing everything down and keeping it for a time of need, and I've made the ideas available to Easy as...

@SNeacail--I like the card idea. I know that she spends a ridiculous amount of time picking Valentine's cards because they have to say the right thing. (I'm feeling smug because I already went against my natural inclination to run away from mush screaming and found one that was simple but said...

The problem is that I don't think the acts of service are being seen as gifts. Easy makes breakfast for everyone every Sunday--when we're there. We don't all live together, so household chores are more something we do when we're there. :/ I will get everyone to sit down and talk, but the...

I could use a little bit of brainstorming if anyone is willing. Asha seems to be feeling unloved, to the point where she's pushing us away. The best I can figure, without actually having the ability to see her in person, is that we've not been speaking her love language enough lately, which is...

Actually, I tried to be understanding, because all of our hospitals are pretty much Catholic here and I live in a city that's intolerant of anything not Christian, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm just too worried about whether he'll judge me a "sinner" and give me substandard care to...

The biopsy came back normal, so no uterine cancer that we know of. I'm a little irritated that that doctor can't seem to share information with me unless I pull it out of him with pliers. Frankly, my experience has been that doctors who won't share information with you sooner or later end up...