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Nope, you don't. I cornered the market on stupid questions. :p

I was... "Guardian Portrait of the Protector (ISFJ) We are lucky that Protectors make up as much as ten percent the population, because their primary interest is in the safety and security of those they care about - their family, their circle of friends, their students, their patients, their...

I'm having coffee with a couple of the members of the BDSM support group tomorrow, and then we're planning on attending the meet and greet Friday night. Asha has agreed to go, though I'm still frightened that Sunday will react badly. I don't know quite how to tell him. :confused: Anyway, I...

Many of our friends guessed that we were poly before we came out. Some were shocked but supportive. We haven't actually lost anyone, I don't think. But I'm actually sad right now because it appears that someone who we thought was supportive actually feels very negatively about our choice to...

Today I am grieving. We learned from P that possibly some other people who we thought were friends and had accepted that we were poly, have been judging us and saying rotten things about our lifestyle choices. One of these people is another mom with who was my daughter's Girl Scout leader, and...

From the perspective of the freaked out primary, I can tell you that sometimes I communicate things like this to Easy, and it's just that, communication. I'm letting him know how I feel and that I might need his help to work through it. Since she said that it wasn't anything either of you did...

Had a fabulous family weekend again. On Sunday the boys brewed, and we had some other friends over to join in the process. I felt really lucky because all of these friends were aware that we're poly, if not overly familiar with what poly means, and I was able to relax and be affectionate and...

I like what Mindful Agony said. For us, poly-fidelity is pretty much about sex. We have all agreed to only have sex within the quad. For my peace of mind, it's been agreed that anything else will be negotiated in advance. I find it interesting to note, Asha doesn't feel threatened by sex...

No contact means no contact, no matter how innocuous Facebook really is. He needs to rebuild trust, and if what you need to do that is no contact with ex-girlfriends, then he should respect that. It just draws the process out if he drags his feet! I've got to be honest, I would be thinking...

I think you're going to have to bite the bullet and tell Tate, gently but firmly, that you're getting married, that you are doing it intentionally and with a lot of forethought, and that you are doing it NOT ONLY for the medical benefits, but also because you love your guy and want to be...

I sent a note to the moderator of the local BDSM group mentioning that I was polyamorous, and I haven't heard from her since. Did I mess up? I'd really like to take Asha to the get-together this Friday or the next, which I just found out about, but now I'm scared that they won't approve of us...

Monkey is a sweetheart, very loving and accepting. I didn't realize that she knew as much about our quad until she started making comments like this. She's my easy kid. But all of the younger kids are pretty accepting. They spent tonight trying to convince us to move in together. :) I...

Redpepper, I knew that it said that it was just a get-together, but I guess I've known an awful lot of predators and not an awful lot of people in the lifestyle. I could picture a situation that was supposed to be safe, but where someone could pressure Asha into something she wouldn't...

Well, I don't have any problem being a natural submissive to Easy and not worrying about anything else, but Asha is a masochistic submissive, and so I feel that more research is necessary to understand her needs and also to reassure myself that she won't be hurt. Some of the things that she...

Thank you for clarifying. I guess I was pretty upset. I can understand not feeling that this was right for you.

It was a little anti-climatic, really. I wrote a long e-mail trying to detail how I felt. I made sure to stress that while I understood intellectually that I was not being rejected, emotionally I was a wreck. I asked for more touch, because I feel better when someone touches me. I'm pretty...

Thanks, Mono. That helps a lot. I need to think about how that applies to me. I think you might have phrased that in a way that I can wrap my head around.

Okay, I'm trying really hard to be calm and play nice here. Handfasting is a marriage. Just because the original version was for a year and a day, and some people still use it that way, does not mean that everyone does, just like a Christian marriage. Some people see marriage as just as...

I am very confused and frustrated. I've spent the evening surfing the internet, reading, trying to find a definition of submissive that would help me. It seems like everything I've found assumes that I *know* what a submissive is, but it's not as clear cut for me. For one thing, I thought...

Very interesting and helpful information for me. Actually, that makes me happy, because IF I found the lifestyle to my liking, I can NOT imagine being comfortable submitting to anyone but Easy. We chatted a bit about this today, but I had trouble (still) understanding the difference between...