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  1. maca

    Affection in my eyes

    Well I have a question and I KNOW there are those out there <NUGDE NUDGE> that may have some input. Im in a V ... LR is the hinge. Her other C lives with us. Im having issues with SEEING affectionate exchanges between them. I have talked to LR about the fact that I dont want to SEE them...
  2. maca

    Freedom and commitment in Poly-fi relationships.

    Although I have only been with another woman ,while commited to one allready, once before( 3 some with LR and another woman).I can feel the love in conversing with LR about what /when/who I think I would be interested in. Hell I may discover that there just isnt anyone out there for me besides...
  3. maca

    just my introduction :)

    Welcome to the boards. And just to lift your hopes some.... Try finding a understanding lover when you live in Alaska:)
  4. maca

    Knock Knock...

    Welcome to the boards. Hope you find all your looking for. Lots of good loving souls here to talk to.
  5. maca

    Dazed and Confused: Life of Maca

    Mono, you really are a stand up guy. LR really likes you and RP and I can see why. You bring up a very good point. Although it would be easy to blame and hold myself personally responsible for the ultimate outcome of our marriage, I'm really just dealing with the hurt from my childhood. I have...
  6. maca

    Coming out

    Mono, you just put into words the place I'm at in my life with LR. In my counseling meeting we talked about not trying to "GET RID" of the feelings and the hurt and the doubts, but rather setting them in a vessel in our minds and working through them one at a time. To get rid of them would be to...
  7. maca

    division of labour in a poly family

    Although I dont KNOW mono the impression I get is that he is a very accepting and very cool guy.I wouldnt worry so much about "entertaining him" I have a feeling that just being around you he is happy as is possible.Have fun,get what needs to be done, done and then you will find time for...
  8. maca

    Sudden Depression

    Thanks RP, She is wonderful and special. I LOVE her so much more...I have moments of such profound clarity and I feel so light. I dont have that heavy weight on my shoulders. Other times its so ...hard... I wont give up and with the love we have Im sure I will grow into the man,friend,lover...
  9. maca

    Dazed and Confused: Life of Maca

    Thanks, Mono. I've talked with LR and we decided that I could go the the counseling meeting tonight solo. I didnt see any reason to wait till next week. I also started a journal so I could look back at the feelings and emotions I had each day, see why I had them, and then see if what I was...
  10. maca

    Sudden Depression

    Allthough it feels as though LR is airing my dirty laundry here she has stuck with me and talked to me and tried to help me.I have allways fealt second rate.I have allways tried to be number 1 and for a long time I thought I was but it was just a tool to NOT deal with my insecurities and fear of...
  11. maca

    Dazed and Confused: Life of Maca

    I have hit some snags with my insecurities. I'm really trying to get down to the core of my feelings, but it's hard to let go of what I was taught was right. I'm still here and still loving my wife and myself.
  12. maca

    Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

    Well, I had posted somewhere (can't remember), that I had planned to go out with LR's other love this week and have a talk about the relationship between the two of us. We talked for a few hours, had a drink and then came home. I felt better getting my feelings and thoughts out in the open with...
  13. maca

    Hi, I'm new :)

    Welcome to the boards.Hope you can find all the info you want and then some.:p
  14. maca

    Dazed and Confused: Life of Maca

    Thanks, RP. I will take my time. It's just exciting and, well, I really have an issue with letting the things that feel confronting to me slide, and then they get in a rut. But I'll take it slow and let the chips fall as they may.
  15. maca

    Hi...looking for enlightenment

    Welcome to the board.I know where your at. My wife toldmeon Sept 25 that she was poly.Ive allways thought of my self as monobut Ill tell you what mono poly or just loving, radical honesty and loving communication has changed my life and opened my mind.If you need someone to talk to just send me...
  16. maca

    Hi all

    I loves those toes LOVER:) At dinner tonite LR asked me why things were going so well in bed and out.The only real true answer was I was happy with her.I needed the honesty and needed to know she loved me no matter what.Its HER that I love not just a body. And YES my belly is getting chubby:(...
  17. maca

    Cheating vs. Polyamory: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    Yep, you can say that again, Mono. If LR hadnt "busted me" for the dumbass and sometimes down right mean things I've done, I would be continuing to do and say those things to people that care about me. Fact is, humans don't learn or change without pain of some sort, physical, mental, or...
  18. maca

    Dazed and Confused: Life of Maca

    Thanks, RC, It hasn't been easy, but the pay-out so far has been incredible. I realised that honesty between ppl is so uplifting. My wife is so much happier, and because of that she has helped me to be happy again. And the sex... wow. :D The only thing that is really bothering me is my...
  19. maca

    Personal Summaries

    You can call me Maca. I'm 38 years old. Been married once before. Loving Radiance is my wife of 10 years. We have 4 kids. We each have one from another relationship, one together, and one via a donor. We live in Alaska, but are planning to spend the winters in the States and summers back up...
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