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I have to disagree, as much as it saddens me. I think that it is very common to have someone turn on another person for a variety of reasons. It happens MUCH more often than most people believe, and as I'm beginning to work in the counseling field I'm seeing more and more instances of total...

hey C... totally sucky, sorry! I'm the same way as you. I'm not really very materialistic. I like buying gifts, but I like getting small things, things that are appropriate to the person. I'm not someone who thinks the amount of prezzies under the tree is a big thing. i also don't like stress...

Just wanted to say hi, and be good to yourself doll. As long as you are staying in the moment and looking at things realistically, that's the most you can really do . I'm glad you have a counselor there to help mediate this process. Unfortunately we can't make somebody do the work they need to...

I can only speak for myself, but I don't view the strong, intense attraction that I feel at the beginning of a relationship (NRE) as "love" per se. I'm a bit biased, because I've studied the chemistry behind attraction various times in my education, and knowing that that first level of...

I think this right here is the most important thing. Someone who can't deal with emotions, and has a hard time even talking about them, is not going to be able to have healthy poly relationships. Maybe he'd be better as something less than your primary "main" relationship. One of the things...

I agree with both posts above. I would also express that instead of beating yourself up, maybe this situation can serve as an incentive to take a look at yourself and how you view relationships so you can get a better idea of what may be going on. Being clingy and wanting to spend a lot of...

I agree RP, especially with the bolded part! Though I don't think that's exclusive to poly relationships-- I think people do the same thing in all types of relationships. They are attracted, get together, then the hormones fade and they have normal issues and don't want to (or don't have the...

I'm going to pose a question that I think it might be a good idea to ask yourself and take a good look at your answers. If you are poly and prefer poly relationships, why did you enter into a monogamous relationship with a monogamous person? I'm not asking this to give you a hard time by any...

I completely agree. And don't get me started on Valentine's Day.... :eek:

Yes.

Opal-- that's kind of what I was trying to say and couldn't find the right words yesterday. I think that if you're a person with really good self esteem, really good boundaries and a good judge of character who also has a strong sense of self (i.e. you know your boundaries and have no problems...

Kamala, I see where you're coming from, but I see a distinct difference for having compassion and understanding for people who are struggling (and not making them out to be BAD people), and inviting them into a personal emotional, mental or physical relationship, whether that be friends or...

NYCindie... it sounds to me like you just have good boundaries and trust your instincts! :) I am also a pretty good judge of people and have good instincts, my problem is that I spent most of my life not trusting those instincts. I would get a bad feeling about somebody, but feel like I needed...

Good article. I know that it took me a long time to figure out that certain people were just going to cause problems and drama and issues no matter what my actions, and though I might feel sympathy for them and want to help them, there really was nothing I could do. They had to want to be helped...

And see... I would be that way too. I would want the person I'm with to be secure in their other relationships and take the time to do that before we went further. Both for their benefit, and selfishly for mine, because I'd know that if their primary relationship were secure, we'd be in a better...

I think it all just comes down to how you behave in relationships. If you are a selfish person who has no empathy and doesn't take other people's feelings into consideration, you're going to have problematic relationships whether you are polyamorous or monogamous. If you are a caring person who...

I totally understand where you're coming from, AnnabelMore. And I agree that the person who got pulled into an unhealthy relationship is in a bad place, and I wouldn't wish for them to get hurt. But here's the thing that hits me (and I admit I'm very very triggered by this as well, but from the...

The way I was reading it was that Sarah got upset that Sunny developed feelings for poobah, not the other way around, and that Sarah suggested swinging because she likes the sexual rush and doesn't want to worry about emotions being involved. Original quote: Of course, I could have read that...

That's good to hear! :) I would only suggest that instead of worrying about if a moment is temporary, or not... realize it's ALL temporary in the long run! :D Enjoy each moment you have together, enjoy the moments you have alone, and somewhere in there no matter what happens, you will still be...

There seems to be a lot of emotional undercurrent going on with Sarah (and you, but you know about that :) ). A lot of people keep things inside for years for many different reasons. Sometimes they feel if they just push it all down, it will go away, and they don't want to deal with it...