Search results

  1. T

    Boundaries with partner's partner

    I'd say you are being upfront and honest with both A and X. If they get back together, you don't want it to be like it was before. If X needs to be in contact with you as a consequence of dating A, then X needs to (and does now) know that it's not going to happen. It's on X to take that into...
  2. T

    If we're polyamorous, how can I be a distraction from him dating other women?

    I think it depends on how genuine the statement is. It could be meant as a 'softening the blow' type of thing. It could also be meant literally though. Sometimes certain things beyond the control of the people in a relationship need to fall into place in order for that relationship to happen...
  3. T

    Emotional Affairs (so-called)

    I think you do have to be a bit careful here by what you consider 'demonisation/pathologisation' behaviour here. Someone ruling you out as a sexual partner, even a lot of someones who all fit a particular demographic, doesn't mean they are demonising you or projecting negativity at you. It can...
  4. T

    Poly with brothers?

    There's nothing in your story to suggest your husband would be open to a poly relationship - in fact, it seems that he would in all likelihood be against it. In your shoes, I'd be distancing myself from the brother. I can't imagine your husband responding positively to you having sexual feelings...
  5. T

    Struggling with metamour

    If you're worried, get yourself vaccinated. I find these guides really helpful when assessing risks and options: http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv-and-men.htm (and for the lady folk: http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm) As long as your partner goes for regular cervical screenings...
  6. T

    Struggling this week. Advice requested

    I'm with cindie on this one. It feels a bit like you are latching onto anything you can in order to justify why this person is a bad match for her, so you have an excuse to ask her to stop seeing him, when actually I think all you need to say is "I don't like the direction our relationship is...
  7. T

    Testing feelings and reactions

    The other aspect of it is, that if the experience goes badly with your wife, it might not be so painful for you or the other woman involved to just walk away if it is 'sex only'. If you wait until feelings are established, then it just makes everything ten times worse. For the record though, I...
  8. T

    Unbalanced

    Hi wholeheart, Thanks for introducing yourself. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, but I think you have come to a good place for seeking advice. I too am (primarily) in a same-sex relationship, and my partner came to me initially with the idea of opening up because she was...
  9. T

    Confused on how to feel or do

    I have to ask, what is it that YOU hope to get out of opening up your relationship? From what I understand, the idea is that he will get to date two women, and you'll have a V. That's all well and fine, but are you interested in dating someone else too? I guess it just seems a little like you...
  10. T

    Metamour Meetups

    My partner and I have been navigating some of these issues recently too. I think there's no real reason at all to meet any of her partners, or vice versa, unless that person looks like becoming a more permanent fixture. She's been seeing the same guy for about six months now, and although I was...
  11. T

    I find myself at the same place again!

    New boyfriend had no idea when you met who you were and who you were married to, right? That tells me you weren't going to work functions with hubby every year and socialising with the people he work[ed/s] with. If someone asks new boyfriend who his girlfriend is, he says "her name is...
  12. T

    Don't Like Wife's New Partner

    How temporary is he with you for? When is his roommate back out of hospital? Honestly, I think in your position I would be keen on establishing a clear time limit - say, one or two more days. It's not like he doesn't have a place to go - he's just lonely. He can surely sort out his own transport...
  13. T

    Does polyamory work for men?

    I understand what you're saying 518, about falling at the first hurdle. And it's obvious that you have little to offer a mono woman on a dating site. In that environment, when selecting from a bunch of profiles of strangers, you being married is undoubtedly a definite turn-off given the plethora...
  14. T

    Does polyamory work for men?

    What Dagferi said… Did you request this rule, or your wife? What purpose does it serve? You need to have a long hard think about this and the implications it will have going forward. Because feelings, they happen. And if one of you does fall in love, or someone who is dating one of you falls in...
  15. T

    Does polyamory work for men?

    If what you're looking for is no strings sex, then I agree with this. There do seem to be more men interested in that kind of thing, even if they haven't previously identified as non-monogamous. If you're looking for a relationship with romance and emotions as well as sex, then actually, the...
  16. T

    tenK's travels

    The race on Sunday went well. My hamstring held out like a trooper, and although I was a good two minutes off of my best time-wise, I felt like it was a good effort. More importantly, Nina had a blast and ran a very very respectable PB. :) I was very pleased and proud of her. Meeting Adam was a...
  17. T

    Hurt and confused

    I'm so sorry you're in such a tough place right now. To be honest, I'm not sure there is much you can do but give them the space that they have requested and re-evaluate whether or not you want to be in a relationship with either of them after this. From what you've said, it does sound like at...
  18. T

    Does polyamory work for men?

    Clearly it does work well for some men; after all, who are these male-bodied people all these poly women are dating? I know people say it's harder for married men, but honestly I don't see why that should inevitably be the case. I know first hand that not every woman is looking for a...
  19. T

    Havoc in the brain

    Being poly does not mean you all have to be involved with one another, either sexually, or even as friends. Many people on this forum have multiple long term relationships with people who have very little, if anything, to do with one another. The only thing they have in common is a partner. So...
  20. T

    Havoc in the brain

    Sorry to hear you are struggling. :( It's hard to tell from your post what exactly gets you about their relationship. Is it because one or both of them have professed loving feelings for one another, and that this violates the boundaries you had established with him? Is it that this...
Back
Top