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My uterus weighed over 2000 grams--nearly 5 lbs!--when I had my hysterectomy in 2022. Many doctors and nurses came to talk to me while I was recovering, just out of scientific curiosity. My gyn/surgeon got a monetary bonus beyond the normal fee for a hysterectomy due to its large size. (She had...

I think calling these things "triggers" is a distraction and not helpful to you. The issue is, you are dating someone who describes himself as being in a difficult, unhealthy, trauma-bonded relationship. It makes sense that you were willing to give it a chance and see if he can work out his...

azurebonds, I was also curious about how long you and your wife had been poly. (Not sure if you discussed this on another thread). Have you had other partners before while married? Serious? Casual? How did those relationships go? Does your wife date other people also?

Let's give your wife a name to make these posts clearer to read. How about Dreamy? I admire how mature you were in accepting Dreamy being poly and having a relationship with Kyle. It sounds like you're in good shape so far. I'm sorry about your custody battle with your ex and everything your...

How do your wife and your gf each feel about kitchen table poly, hierarchy, and about each other?

That sounds lovely, MoPoly. That's exactly what I was trying to convey--that kind of situation can flourish in poly, whereas most monogamous people would not want to spend 8 years seeing their partner only 2 weeks per year. Just out of curiosity, how did your NP and children handle the weeks...

Welcome! Your marriage is over now? You are exploring a new way forward post-divorce?

Sure, but I was thinking of situations where, for example, the partner staying home prefers that no metamours are in their daily life or frequently visiting their shared home or meeting their kids or hanging out with their mutual friends. (Maybe not that drastic, but just a preference for...

It sounds like you should talk to her again to clarify if you have broken up or not. I can't tell from your post if the breakup was clear or still pending? In theory, a big part of what appeals to me about non-monogamy and/or polyamory is that you can have relationships that are outside of what...

I'm glad your husband's poly friends told him he fucked up, because he did. Aside from the fact that he never talked to you about wanting to be poly outside of sex talk, he decided a woman he has not yet met in person could maybe move in with you both someday! Nope. It's okay to tell him this...

By PII, do you mean personal identification information, such as SSN, driver's license, past addresses, credit history, etc? Like, things an employer's HR department might need and/or things an investigator running a background check might turn up? If so, this is very weird to me. Two months...

I am unclear--is your girlfriend going to move into your home with you and your wife? Or are you going to have two homes--one with wife, one with girlfriend? Or something different?

Also, I would suggest that your wife find her own way to get to the airport when she's going to see her other partner. She can take an Uber or something. It shouldn't be your chore to drive her to the airport and pick her up (unless you really like doing it). Sometimes the mono spouse gets...

I think you're actually doing fine with the texting for now, since this is so new for you. Yes, in the long run, it's not fair if she's not allowed to text the other guy while she's on a weekend trip with you, but she's required to text with you on her trip with him...but as a mono spouse...

Did your husband ever seek treatment for his panic attacks? Does he have panic attacks at other times, or ONLY when you mention polyamory? During the five years that you tabled the discussion to give him time to work on his insecurities, with the goal (you thought) of being able to actually...

I am so sorry, I just read this and I am devastated for you.

MeeraReed said: To me, the fact that you have lost all interest in your wife sexually is an indication that you are not very poly by orientation. But the OP is not asexual; he is very sexual with his girlfriend. His original post did not provide any reason why he his connection with his wife...

So glad you're out of surgery and that it might not be cancer!

You might consider freeing your wife to find someone who thinks she's as awesome as you think your girlfriend is. Someone who actually wants to have sex with her. Someone who isn't disdainful of her suburban lifestyle and efforts to recycle. Someone who isn't longing for an imaginary...

Ah, I see! Thank you, LoveBunny. That totally clarifies my confusion about this whole thread to begin with. Well, polyamory is no longer one coherent movement (if it ever really was to begin with), so it can't be any one thing. And it's becoming more popular and trendy, so a wider variety of...