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Interesting! You'd all been planning to live together before the new relationship happened. I didn't expect that to be the backstory, honestly. Thank you for clarifying! The way you describe your house sounds like the layout has plenty of space and privacy for everyone. Honestly, the further...

GalaGirl, I think the OP was just referring to helping the cousin move into their own place, not moving into OP's place.

Another thought: An introvert in a poly living situation might be a lot happier with their own apartment/suite within/attached to the larger house. There are many V relationships where one partner lives in a guest apartment/mother-in-law apartment. That way they have their own private space...

I think your "couple time" with each partner shouldn't be dependent on the metamour being out of the house. If I was planning to be out for the the day but my plans fell through, and then my metamour was annoyed that I would be home instead, I would be pretty uncomfortable and frustrated. I...

Many poly people are able to balance multiple relationships because they have MORE energy than the average person. My former partner is the type of poly person who has a flirty dynamic with all his friends (even friendships that always stay platonic). He is a high-energy, social person with a...

I think the OP sounds pretty clear that they are poly and want to be poly, and have some experience with non-monogamous relationships, even if none of the relationships got to the point of getting serious. I know what you mean, but I disagree that it's nothing like polyamory. I figured out that...

Aw, that's sweet. I'm sorry you weren't well enough to go Thanksgiving after initially wondering how you would spend it. I'm glad your partners were able to be there for you.

If the situation were reversed, and you'd had an accidental pregnancy that you were terminating, would it be any of your husband's girlfriend's business? Would it affect her at all? Wouldn't you feel it was your private business that she didn't need to know? Your husband obviously mishandled...

Actually, I don't think it's normal that your sex life already dwindled at only 1 year in. But I think the problem is your partner, not you. Does he normally never have relationships that last very long? It sounds like your partner likes newness, variety, kink, and maybe excessive stimulation...

I've often had problems with people deciding I'm "difficult" based on one interaction where I had a good reason to be irritable or irritated, and while I thought I was making a good effort to be patient and polite and considerate. Maybe it's my tone of voice that annoys people? I know how you...

Two weeks' vacation is standard in the US. (And that's not even counting all the jobs where there are NO paid vacation days and it's hard to schedule a vacation, like retail work, etc.) I once had an "excellent" benefited job with 2 weeks of vacation, where after 5 years I earned 3 weeks of...

Thanks for clarifying! That makes sense. I actually forgot that you'd written that she was doing the online stuff in secret first. That's not okay, especially that she kept it from you/was dishonest about it to you, and now she's trying to restrict your relationship that you were honest about...

Just to offer an interpretation of how your wife might be feeling: For her, sexual relationships or sexual flirting interactions are easy and fun and do not need to have strong emotions involved. Emotional relationships are harder and more complex for her to find and develop, and she is happy...

Ah, I see. Thanks for your response. A point of clarification: I think the colleague's husband is in TWO relationships (one with his wife and one with his girlfriend). He is in not in ONE relationship with both his wife and his girlfriend. That's a common misconception about poly, that it...

Welcome to the forum! I think you'll get a lot of comments/advice on your post because your situation is a reversal of the situations we see here most often, where one spouse wants to be non-monogamous and the other spouse is miserable in non-monogamy. You sound like a likeable and thoughtful...

Yes, I think your experience here (the existential crisis part in particular) is largely because of her extremely adverse reaction to the idea of poly. She "got very sad" upon hearing that you're poly on the first date, when it should be too early to have strong feelings at all. The first date...

Now I'm wondering if "lifestyle" as a general term is more commonly used in British English or among European English speakers? I don't hear Americans say it much in casual conversation. Maybe the confusion here is that it doesn't sound like an unusual phrase in the UK? For me, it stands out as...

I disagree. The wife won't be able to articulate what she actually wants if she imagines poly is a uniform lifestyle and has a therapist also making that assumption. It's vague and unclear and hides unexamined expectations about what poly is/is not. It's not common wording for any poly person...

Yeah, his (now ex) partner Zia was also quite insane, so there's a lot more to the story. I keep thinking about posting the whole thing because it's been such a saga but haven't had time. Short version: she moved in with him last September 2023 after dating him less than 6 month, and they were...

The therapist OP in that thread used the term "lifestyle" for polyamory 3 times in one post, which stood out to me as indicating an attitude that would neither help the therapist to understand her clients nor help her clients to achieve clarity about polyamorous relationships. One reason being...