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With my queer background, I am used to folk self-identifying and that being given utmost respect. So i guess I am struggling with this need to create distinctions between, for example, swinging and poly, instead of acceptance that if a person or persons identify their relationship as poly then...

Thank you. I take all of your points on board. When I mentioned warning others, I simply meant telling a friend something like, "Be careful, because you may find others on that site who will tell you what you do is not poly." Nothing more and nothing less. It can be painful to have one's...

Kind of. What I am hearing is that, yes, this is another forum where some will tell me that I am not in polyamorous relationship, where my identity and lifestyle may not be respected. Perhaps I am misunderstanding? I hope so.

wits

can't agree more. i used to get yeast infections until i changed my diet. the change was in reaction to a diagnosis of irritable bowel syndrome but a wonderful side effect is i haven't had a yeast infection in over a year. i cut out sugar first, since then i have cut out other stuff like...

sailing

All respect, but I have no idea what these words mean-- a "definition running rampant." Would you clarify, perhaps? Thanks.

does that mean i would be welcome? i have a connection to NY state and self-identify with polyamory, but am not keen to enter another virtual space where i will be told what i practise is not polyamory. how is polyamory defined at the birdcage? see i am not asking what happened in the past...

mono's changed? reading through some old posts, was very surprised to find you saying this mono, and makes me wonder when you changed your mind about what constitutes a poly relationship? x

Thank you! It always frustrates me when I partially remember a quote and/or forget who said it. I agree with what you say, sadly, but I live in hope, because people can and do learn and change with time. I'm glad you are here, Ravenesque!

Redpepper, it's fine for you have your opinions, and to make judgements. We all have to make judgements every day and do so. As a good friend once memorably said to me, "Keep an open mind, but not so wide open that your brain falls out." Just be prepared for others to judge you, and form...

Try googling "polyfidelity" and I'm sure you'll find what you are looking for.

I find your friend's attitude very weird for lots of reasons. Perhaps things are different where you are, but here in London it is extremely common for people to do scenes where there is no genital contact at all, and no expectation of a guaranteed orgasm. In fact, especially at public parties...

honey i know how it is to feel like i have disappointed my parents, because i have many times on many levels! my parents are both academics and i dropped out of school at 16. i later followed that with dropping out of nursing studies to have a nervous breakdown. but wait there's more! i came...