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Remember that skinny does not equal beautiful. Remember that skinny does not equal worthwhile. Your A is not beautiful because she is skinny, she is beautiful because she is a loving person with qualities that you admire. If you find her attractive, I'm willing to bet that you don't sit...

I don't see any problem with telling your friend how you feel and making suggestions, but you do need to keep in mind that in the end, you can't live her life or make her choices for her. You have to step back, take a deep breath, and hope things will work out. The only life you have a right...

Well, if it helps, I loved When Someone You Love is Kinky. I thought it handled the subject kindly, and in a fair amount of detail for someone who is new to it all, and it didn't give so much detail that you get overwhelmed. Way back when we first started seeing Asha, she handed us a book called...

That is definitely a possibility, and I'm sorry for it. I don't think you have any control over what she says, anyway--she could be, right now, telling people that you have trouble in your marriage because you look at porn. I hope that she is or will be mature enough to realize that nothing is...

Can I just point out, *of course being single is easier*. When you're not part of a relationship, you don't have to work on being a part of a relationship. Also, where's your son? He's with his mother. You don't even have to parent. Trust me, there are definitely days where being single is...

It's been two weeks since I've posted...life in general has been awful on the quad front, as far as getting time together. Families have been sick, and busy. I normally see Asha and Sunday often during the week, but lately they've been sick, we've been sick, and various activities for the...

Honestly, I think monogamy and honesty together were always as rare as they are today, people just didn't talk about it. And the reason I think that honesty and monogamy frequently don't seem to go together is because it's easy to be dishonest with yourself and your partner in a monogamous...

Our girlfriend is a submissive and my husband is a budding dom. It's been hard for me to accept that this is a part of his life that I don't share. I have a desire to be all things to him. It's also been hard to see him hurting her, even knowing that this is what she wants, so I have a limited...

I think that you have a really clear definition of abuse, but this is not the case for everyone. I know that I was beaten as a kid. We used to hide the belt or whatever was being used to hit us that week in the hopes that we wouldn't be punished. This was not outside the guidelines of what...

Yes, I've felt that way. I spent a lot of time worrying about it and trying to get it to make sense to me. After we became polyamorous, I actually spent months and months mulling over the idea that sharing sex with ONLY your primary partner is what made the relationship special--yes, I know...

When you get the urge to start in with the questioning, take a deep breath and ask yourself, is this something I really need to know, or can I trust him to come with me with problems? Maybe you're worried that he won't speak up if he has an issue..some people don't. If he's the kind of guy who...

I apologize for the "what they said" post, but I wholeheartedly agree with Mono and YGirl. I want to underline what they said three times. You have rights, and you should be allowed to have a say. If everything you say you need to have in order to be comfortable is being vetoed, something is...

You are not taking care of you. You have no obligation to give your husband anything that makes you unhappy. You can, as was mentioned before, find a way to make a poly relationship work from this point on, but FIRST you must figure out what it is that you want. You must do some...

I think there were great suggestions already, so I'm just going to suggest that you find a BDSM-support group that meets near you, if you haven't already. That way, you could both feel like you are moving forward, even if you're not running out and picking a top, and you might not feel as much...

Exactly what I was trying to frame in my head, Mono. I resist the idea that my other partners are less important, but if the worst happened and I had to make a choice, of course I would have to pick my husband--my primary relationship. And I accept that my other partners would have to pick...

Ilove2men, I honestly wish that for you too. It took and still takes a lot of work, self-knowledge, some counselling, a bunch of reading, honesty, and a ton of communication.

Sleepover I've decided to call Asha's children Ocean (8yo girl) and Rockstar (4yo boy). Most weekends, my family pretty much moves in to Asha and Sunday's house, which is about 30 miles from our house. This weekend, Asha hosted a sleepover for the friends of Ocean and Monkey from our old...

GS--Easy chose his own name. :) He likes it, and jokes about being the "easy" in cheap and easy. As for public affection with Sunday, that would be nice, but in reality I'm trying to negotiate more affection at all. Sunday had serious concerns that he might be monogamous, and his shy nature...

I'm afraid I have to agree, the words are nowhere near as nice as the actions. My husband has a long history of saying the words but acting in a completely opposite fashion, and I have to say that now that he's actually behaving in a loving manner I feel so much better! Perhaps there could be...

I envy you, Mono. It would make me immensely happy if my family or Easy's family could accept Sunday and Asha and their children.