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Perhaps also: the relationship's only as good as its participants are able to believe it can be. The bigger people's imagination (and I mean something much different from 'fantasy' here) the more amazing the relationships. I had a relationship break up partly because my partner found it...

Have you come across http://www.uk-poly.net/ yet? It's still a bit slow to get going, but at least it's UK-based. I suppose that the flipside of what I wrote above is that many people have had their heart's fingers burned in relationships by people who leave them for someone else (or they've...

I'm sure there are loads of people in the UK just getting on with polyamorous relationships without the 'benefit' of a name for the experience :). Most people I talk to about this have no problem with the concept "loving more than one person needn't = inability to commit" regardless of whether...

I can see that being a tough uphill struggle, especially if he thinks of your relationships as just a "lifestyle," rather than about whom you love. That's as damning as saying "It's just a phase."

Cool - someone else in the UK :). Enjoy yourselves exploring the mystery that is People!

I don't think this is a guy/gal issue - it's just that people are different. They have different desires, different ways to avoid issues or engage with them, different levels of self-awareness etc. (I've been in relationships with women where I'm the one being told to lighten up.) Sometimes the...

It's likely you'll find in either camp that each person has their own definition of poly or swinging - they're both broad terms for something that's actually a lot more individual and personal in practice. Do you know what you're looking for? Do you know what they're looking for? Talk is a...

It's amazing how often people will rationalise like crazy to avoid actually saying: "I want you to be feeling something other than what you are feeling right now." Fear, lack of patience, their own buttons being pushed... Telling someone "you should just get over it" is 9 times out of 10 just...

Human Beat Box? Of course, it's nice to be in bed with someone vocal :)

smilnlol, I've realised that what concerns me about your story is not about polyamory, it's about choice. What I feel is that if you choose to do what someone else wants out of fear of losing them, that's not really a choice - and you might that way lose something else very precious, that's...

Or (3), you just experience things differently from him in this area. I think you are under no obligation to feel something other than you do feel. What makes someone basically polyamorous is that they can say and mean: "I can love/be loved by more than one person to the same extent that I can...

The uk-poly.net site seems to be attracting people looking for group sex or swapping or something. I don't think the concept of polyamory has caught on over here very strongly yet, except among the youngsters. I was a surprised that my counsellor had never heard the term before - and she lives...

the uk-poly.net site is a very slow forum at the moment - mainly consists of messages from people saying 'so... is there anybody out there?' - but I've started chatting with a Kanuck in Scotland, ah, diversity...

Really new - most links don't work yet. Some stuff on there I hadn't come across yet, though, including that ribbon thing. It's not going to seduce me away from here, though... :) Thanks for posting that, nikkiana. *update* I tried to contact the website, but they don't have their emial set up...

Hey - size isn't everything :)

...erm, another teeshirt slogan, this time for the raging international "what is marriage, then?" debate. The world at large still seems to think 'marriage' should be all about monogamous, heterosexual, sexual union (completely missing the point of why most people get married, in my opinion -...

...and it's not like monogamy is a walk in the park, eh? :)

I weave, myself - look forward to crossing threads :)

Interesting observations, Nikkiana; I've recently put myself up on a dating website as being a bi man looking for poly-friendly partners of either gender, and so far the overwhelming interest (such as it is :rolleyes:) has been from women who identify themselves on that site as 'straight'. Dunno...

Redpepper, I can relate to this: When people ask me whether I believe in soulmates, I say, "Sure, I think everyone can have several, :) and they don't have to be lovers to be soulmates (whatever the hell that means to each of us)."