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All of a sudden boyfriend is very ancous to come to my country, asking every day if I know more about the work visa. Even since I left and went home after my journey ended, I have been rather cold. He has initiating all the texts, he is sending lots of kissing hearts and so on. He has even...

I will not go into detail, but there are some special qualities to our relationship. I very much doubt he would find it with someone else. I am not afraid he will meet some girl who is better suited. I am more worried he will just settle for a random woman to marry just to please his family. I...

Of course it can be deeper doubts. But it sounded like that to him, the money thing was perhaps even more challenging than the poly thing. And those are the exact same challenges that people in international mono relationships have. The only way to change that is for one of us to move. My...

Thank you. You are probably right. It is reassuring to hear it might be transition panic. I have been trying to see it from his side, but it is easy to forget that he has only spent 30 days in my country. I would probably feel ok moving to his country (exept from the pay rate), but I have been...

It is the option of telling the family later on, or having a ceremony with friends, there's always something to be done.

I wrote a little while ago about my boyfriend of two years seeming to have a depressive reaction. About the same time as his boss started to act like an ass. Also, lots of negative things happened to us this year: a close friend cheated us out of money, many of his colleagues were sacked, our...

Update: I am here with him now, husband is also here, we will get the two last days by ourselves. The days are ambivalent. The first days it was like we never had a problem, better than before, even. Then slowly things started to get worse. I guess I am starting to loose patience. Small things...

I very much doubt that I would loose my job over being open. But my boys are reluctant. In boyfriend's country, it could be potentionally dangerous to be open. After two years, the secrecy has starting to wear on all of us. We are still not sure how to do things.

I find that it is easiest to adress poly at the earliest time possable, before any even small investment has been made. And don't assume everyone is ok with it. In our case, my now boyfriend knew that I was married before we started flirting. What he did not know is that I actually have a...

You have not been used. You have started to have boyfriend expectations from your fuckbuddy. That is where it goes wrong.

People say all kinds of things after a breakup. I personally think the "timing was wrong" is a lost of horsecrap, unless you deal with mental health issues. There is never a right or wrong timing to be together, there is just now. If someone doesn't want the relationship, they simply don't want...

Sometimes things doesn't work out. Sometimes people are not that serious. It actually sounds like you were way overdue to break up with the girlfriend, if she was not even upset over it. There is a fine line here; we should be able to live and let live, and let our loved ones be who they are...

People being friends or girlfriend/boyfriend may seem like a trivial distinction to you, but most people react to changes in roles like that. It takes a while for the new situation to settle. That may be difficult to see for the person eager to make the change, because they have been preparing...

Hi, thanks for all your concern. I do many things to take care of myself; I see my friends, me and husband have plans to become closer, I am looking into getting a new job...and I will have time now to take up my yoga and meditation. I am very aware that I risk getting depressed myself and I...

We work a lot on communication. I use NVC language a lot, and when I don't, at least try to work from the base that communicating emotions is the single most important thing. I may be sometimes very mad at my boyfriend, but what I am communicating is not lots of accusations but what has happened...

The thing I am still not sure of is how things might change when he finishes his job - which is one month from now. There is the option of leaving the job early, but they owe him 2 months pay that he only gets when the season ends. We had a different type of talk on text this morning and Skype...

They have discussed it with the kids 2 months, not a year. They have known him for a year, but not as mum's boyfriend. Big difference.

Sure. I don't doubt that he is really hurting. I know depression; I had it in the past and also my husband has had it. It is sometimes hard. Even horrible. The problem is not reccognizing it, but what to do about it. I realize that doing something about depression can be every bit as hard as...

My reason was to say that if a person have casual lovers and mostly sexual relationship with friends, that is not polyamory. Or monogamy. It may be something very interesting that the asexual/aromantic folks have words for, if you have a close connection to a friend and sprinkle sex on top of it...

I am getting confused as to why you use these kind of love affections for people you only care medium about. Maybe the language is confusing me. At least in my language, you only say "I love you" or the equivalent if you care deeply about the person, so I simply would not say that unless I meant...