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Does having multiple separate lovers count as polyamory? Like maybe a spouse and/or multiple mistresses/concubines/boy toys that may or may not know about each other? That is polyamory, many loves, right? Or is that outside the original, idealistic spirit of group relationships that I am...

I appreciate all the comments, thank you, especially for the constructive criticism of polygons. The outside perspective helps us understand our own situation better. :)

Thanks for the intellectual discussion/entertainment :) I appreciate the direct responses My words come out easily, explaining them is more difficult I guess by "stop caring about yourself," I really meant "stop worshiping yourself and think about someone else for a change". Of course, I...

Thank you for all the thoughtful answers. :) I see that V-configurations (even multiple Vs) seem to be the most common poly configurations. They seem to have more issues than mono relationships (obviously, more people, more possible conflicts/jealousy/etc). I thought polygons would be more...

Thank you for your perspective, Marcus :) Of course, I prefer sharing personally. I was just asking why other poly people prefer sharing, especially in a V. Isn't that just one easy step away from mono? Maybe that's just the first step into poly - By equal love, I mean different people...

Good answers, thanks :) So V-relationships may or may not have hierarchies, got it Some people actually enjoy being at the bottom of the hierarchy, got it I can't imagine how they want to stay down there forever; won't they want to move up or move out or go mono [I]eventually[I]? Yes, I...

I'm just asking questions, I never said I had all the answers Children can complicate or simplify things So would you ever sacrifice yourself to save your children? Would your husband ever sacrifice himself to save you? Would your husband ever sacrifice himself to save your children...

OK then, I have definitely learned something :) I have to put an idea out there, and get some feedback so I can learn something quickly. Please don't be offended. Here are some follow-up questions: 1) Do all members of V relationships feel equally loved, or does someone inevitably feel...

Fair enough, no offense taken on my part :) I'm assertive, yes. I apologize if I came/come across as arrogant or smug. That is definitely not my intention. Feels like a repeat of high school One more point, food for thought: My impression is that a truly loving mono or poly relationship...

Hi Kevin, I read your story and it touched me. :) Do you think your/any V relationship will last? I don't know, I'm asking you. We were a Y, with the man in the middle, and our relationship naturally evolved/solidified into a quad.

Actually, my group doesn't really want me to continue on the forum. Maybe I will respect their wishes. I don't know what I want. I'm sorry I'm writing here, I don't want to start a new thread on the subject. This place looks fine to me, people seem nice enough, but it's not what I expected...

Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply. Big Sister's husband (current husband's father) is long deceased. Both our families imploded a long time ago, long before we were intimate, so all we have is each other. But I had no idea that adult consensual lesbian incest was illegal. :eek...

Oops, double post, see previous post

OK, I see your point, some people have had very bad experiences. I'm sorry to hear that. :( But I also said that if you act generously and selflessly, you will soon see your partner acting generously and selflessly as well, and your relationship will progress to a higher level. Or, you will...

Thank you for the heads up No legal concerns, we're all adults now :)

I know I say silly and outrageous things, and I'm rough around the edges. That's my personality, I'm very outgoing, unfiltered, controversial. I'm trying to stir the pot, start an exciting discussion. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to impose my views on anyone. I want some disagreement...

I totally agree with everything so far. I'll add a provocative new idea. How do you know if you really love your partner, of one year or ten? Try this: Stop caring about yourself, and care only for your partner. If you can't do that, then you don't really love your partner, or you love...

If you have complementary styles (one dominant, one submissive), great. If you don't have complementary styles (both dominant, or both submissive), then you need to learn to give and take and switch in equal measure for the sexual relationship to be successful long-term. Unless you are...

Hi Kevin, I just read your beautiful story. I'm sorry about LV though I confess I only read the first and last posts. I'm only going to comment on the most recent posts. Some people get really worked up about politics. I think my group relationship works because nobody really cares about...

Main chicks vs. side chicks I just got here, and most of the threads I read have a similar theme: 'Regardless of how well everyone communicates, there will inevitably be major emotional problems in a poly relationship, sooner or later, because of the resentment that naturally arises from...