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I've loved Paint Your Wagon since I was a little girl. I thought it was because of how feminist it is, but now... I like it even more :)

Still hanging around. Djinn's crazy brain finally infected me, and I had a mini-meltdown. I can't believe how unstable I am, how up and down and sideways all the time. Mal is a constant source of support that I now can't imagine living my life without. But Djinn sends my world out of control...

PVCs are no fun at all :( I've had them on and off too. I describe them like a mule kick to the chest (which I've also had)... I found potassium was a bigger deal than magnesium. Usually a banana or baked potato (skin on) will get them to quit. But they are definitely the egg for me. Once they...

Apparently Mal's lack of communication was technology related, not emotionally related. Djinn is having another episode of 'crazy brain', and neither he nor I know why. Not sure what we are going to do, but we are still a 'we'.

Still no word from Mal and now Djinn has retracted my invitation to their house for a week in the summer saying it would be too upsetting to have me there because she is 'done with pretending' that she is ok or that she is the 'perfect poly partner' because she isn't either. No idea what...

Having a hard night. It's Mal and Djinn's anniversary. So they are (obviously) doing anniversary things, which doesn't bother me (I'm actually happy for them), but I texted Mal 'Happy Anniversary' this morning, and I know he read it a few minutes later but didn't answer me, and hasn't talked...

I text Mal whenever I think of something I want to say to him. I trust him to respond to me as soon as he's able. He might be working, with The Kids, with Djinn, or just otherwise out of touch. It's up to him to prioritise. I have no problem with him texting, or talking with Djinn when he is...

I think if a separation agreement is enforceable or not would depend on jurisdiction.

Definitely. My parent's separation agreement detailed alimony, child support (my brother was still under age) and support for post secondary should my brother or I go (we both did), it also covered how assets would be transferred and equalised between them. By the time they divorced (over 10...

Healthy transitions are a good goal, and it sounds like you are making the right moves. My parents had a long separation before they finally divorced. They separated when I was 21, and divorced when I was in my 30's. Sadly not even 10 years later my father passed away, and neither of them had...

Congratulations!!!!

Well, Mal and I had our first fight today. So that was fun. It was ok, we handled it well, but it was about something that's a pretty big deal to me (professionally and personally) and it was annoying to realize that he's pretty delusional about it. Head in the sand doesn't begin to cover it...

Random pop in to say: still here! I've been super busy at work, and that ended with the month end. So I've taken a week off to work on the house and get my life straightened out again. Mal really wanted to get together, but after our last visit and how tired I was I said no. I thought he and...

Hashing out what it means to each of us is a tiring and arduous process. Questioning each word, how do you define 'friend', 'lover', 'partner'. Is *this* a problem, or *that*? Do you want *this* or *the other thing*... Latest hiccup: she was really reluctant to allow us any alone time at all...

I don't have to ask, we had a lot of talks about it this weekend. I know she is working as hard as she can. She's started councelling and has been to a few sessions already, both with Mal and on her own. And this level of talking is, by itself, a huge step. As is realizing that she is pushing...

Fair question! He says "No pressure. I want you to feel 'right', however that looks." :)

I had a big hang up with FWB being a 'casual' relationship. And to me 'casual' means disposable. Random hook up. You know, the girl you meet at the festival have a great week with and never see again. I'm not that girl. I don't know how to do that. But the more I thought about the most...

Maybe, I told him I need to be less invested in the outcome of their relationship. Idk if FWB is something I can do, but I do think 'friends' is closer to what we need right now than full on romantic love.

Yes. This resonates. And it does suck. Mal and I had a long conversation today. He wants me in his life. I really like him being in my life. But this is all too much for me right now, and it is clearly to much for her right now too. I hadn't thought of it in those terms though. And when I...

WhatHappened said in another thread: I wonder if this isn't what is happening. But because she doesn't want to hurt me either she's trying so hard. She opened this Pandora's box and feels responsible for setting us up. Mal calls me co-primary, and I was just starting to feel like *maybe* I...