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Had a great talk with Mal last night about budgets and money. It's hard being on the outside of their money struggles when I'm comfortable (and more than). But it sounds like they've (finally) worked out a system that reduces the conflict AND helps them meet their goals. And we managed to talk...

Finally feeling like my brain is not trying to undermine me anymore. Not all better, but more stable. I wish someone had warned me two things about surgery: drink more water, dehydration is a risk when your body is using so many resourses to heal, and post-op depression is real, and...

I agree. At some point the "new" partner isn't really new anymore. Like a "new baby" will always be the youngest, but at some point is just "one of the kids".

So. Post-operative depression is a thing. That no one tells you about. That can be really bad. So that's fun. Not. :'(

No personal experience, but I came across this blog a while ago, and it's an interesting read. Pre-trip: http://polytripod.blogspot.ca/2009_06_01_archive.html Aftermath: http://polytripod.blogspot.ca/2009_07_01_archive.html Not a lot of detail, but the bit about "exposing each relationship to...

To be fair, I thought they spent a fair bit of time in their written works about this issue saying that they didn't think the victims should be the ones doing the "talking to the abuser". I think the idea was more that the community as a whole, should help the abuser stop being abusive, not...

I raised my child alone, I know how hard it is. You can do a good job of it on your own. The last ten years I've been solo, realizing that what I wanted just wasn't available. Then suddenly someone was available. Someone I never expected. And it's wonderful. And well worth the wait. Take your...

Well, in fairness, I'm dumping all my current insecurities on her. At least right now we are taking turns! She says that 'the poly' is going well, and I think it is too. Most of the time. But hard emotions are hard. Sigh. It's not the particular incident - which we dealt with - but the idea of...

I'm really struggling emotionally right now. A mis-step at work 5 years ago is coming back to haunt me, and it has me worrying about what other surprises there are in the past that I don't know about. On top of that Djinn had a pretty bad reaction to Mal's being with me for Valentines Day. It...

It takes as long as it takes. My last one took years. As long as you are feeling like you are making progress, just allow yourself the time!

Near as I can tell, this... person... likes to come on the site every few months and accuse people of being swingers, or 'not poly enough'. If *WE* aren't poly enough, I can't imagine who would be.

Surgery went well. Waiting to be released. Feeling all floaty from the general. Feels weird.

So glad it went well!

Take your time coming back to it (if you do) It took me ten years! But I'm soooo much more secure/aware/stable/happy for the time spent!

Surgery on Thursday for 'girl stuff'. Billie is too busy to take the night off from work to say with me. Mal just went home and can't come back. Djinn can't come out here either. Feeling scared and needy, and fighting to feel loved when everyone has more important things to do than take care...

Me too. And me too. So nervous.

This. My budget is a lot higher than Mal's. And as fulcrum he needs to save enough to take Djinn out too. So I pay most of the time. I know it worries him, but it doesn't me. We each pay what we can afford.

I completely understand that emotion.

Finding Mal leaving after this weekend visit really hard. Four days is both too long and too short.

Mal loves the fact that I open conversations with " I think I'm overthinking things..." (when I have been). Because he has no idea most of th time what I'm thinking unless I tell him. My advice, fwiw, is tell him you are overthinking and it is causing you stress, so you want to clear somethings...