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I think it's official I made the mistake of texting B again after talking to H briefly about the whereabouts of our friend K...she asked if I was with him this weekend because they didn't see him. I hadn't, and we got into a small convo and I found out B was considering taking a different job...

switch

Sigh...confused, crazy, and goin with the flow at the same time. How are you?

band-aid

complicated

water

Too true lady. That's the direction it's going right now. I just hate that I can't have it all I guess...

ska

It feels like a gaping hole right now... B is texting nasty things to me now...the more it happens the more I feel like it's not right for me to stay with them, but I miss them like mad :(

I agree with that Athena...but always a good reminder...it's hard to see sometimes when you're in the thick of it. B&H are home today but not returning my texts...B went back to pretending everything was ok earlier and got mad at me for pointing out that I'm still not sure what I want. Then I...

vibrate :D

Domo FK. I just hate feeling so unreliable and untrustworthy, when I know I can be the opposite!!! Big hugs, thank you for the support.

I really appreciate that FK. I'm too big a coward to be honest with anyone right now, and I know how bad that is. All of this is my doing and I need to dig outta it. I have issues too. :D B knows he can always drag me back in...I know he's bad for me. He knows it too...that's why I have...

Thanks FlameKat. We all have Skype, it's just been rough because they've been traveling so much. I talked to H once on it. Once I'm in Korea, I know it wouldn't be so bad...just things are blowing up right now. B is upset and asking if I've been with someone else...

Woke up feeling blah and very unloved (which isn't at all true, but still). I can't seem to be happy either way about B&H. He just e-mailed and said he would send H over to drop off presents for me so I could be done...just stab me in the heart why dontcha. Ugh. What's my happy medium...

Thank you ekl. I like the label! I was bi-curious for a long time and I think I can officially say I'm a step above that now, but not full-on bi. Yeah I agree with you...B, as much as I love him, is hard to deal with. He's very bratty and things tend to revolve around him, and yes, I think...

J and I talked last night...basically we decided we can't happen and to hit the brakes. I'm heartbroken...I realized how hard & fast I fell for him and that had I realized how much I felt for him earlier, we could probably make this happen. But Korea is part of the problem...he wouldn't be...

chocolate!

Hugs. I know how this feels! Kinda feeling the same way right now.

trouble