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This was incredibly helpful. I think one of the things that calms DH down is the fact that she's already an emotional-partner of mine. It's "only" a change on the romantic/sexual axis, which is more-than-enough. Thanks.

Dunno DH and I talked for hours, over weeks, about this, and came to a tentatively functional way of going about it, figuring out how this transition into the "not-monogamous" world would work. She reacted as if I had come out to her as a conservative or something. :confused: Way bigger of a...

Yes. Can that be used if it really is mono-DH and I, and I and those two, and her and her various other people? I've previously understood poly-fi to be more closed-off than that. That's good to know. Thanks.

Frustrating Yeah. I am breathing. This is just a lot new and a little discombobulating. Not having rules or structure is hard for me, in any situation. I like maps and templates and guides, and do not like re-inventing the wheel. Seems I have no choice in that, but until we figure out...

This gives me, in my situation, hope. I really believe, in my bones, that DH and I will be together until "death does us part." With my friend, CG, I hope to be friends that long, but know that whatever other-than-friendship we have won't be a continuous thing in that. On again, off again...

BPD sucks. It really, really does. I've had two roommates with it (one a close friend, too) and it is hard on family/friends/loved ones. The damage that usually results in BPD makes it really hard to control/account for. Good luck.

^This! So, I'm bi-, and have been in a mono relationship for nearly 15 years, married just shy of 10. The only reason, I think, that being bi impacted my world is that I wasn't really expecting to fall for a girl (since I don't have many female friendships, and I only fall for friends)...and...

Husband. And yeah, I'm really choosy when it comes to both friends and...whatever this all is. I dated on guy before I married DH, and this is the first "other" to come up since then. I don't think it is necessarily negative connotations with poly that make me not feel like it suits. I...

My father believed this about my younger brother, for over a decade. He had some severe head-trauma and a TBI, not a spectrum disorder, but it was much the same. Until my brother became violent, my dad was really willing to just ignore it until it sorted itself out. As to you, I'm sorry. My...

That's a good phrasing. I like it. Spent a few hours with CG's primary/boyfriend/partner/fiancee/whatever yesterday and, as always, ended up pestering him about how poly works. He's tolerably patient about the whole thing, but cannot see why things trouble me the way that they do. His most...

I don't want to be "poly." As I said in my intro post, I feel like I can't (yet?) ID comfortably with that, as it seems (from reading people's thread and from the people I know) to not have the kind of fixed structure that I like. I've never had anything, specifically, against poly...I've just...

I think this is fair, on both ends. Yeah, you need to toughen up a bit about asking for advice on the interwebs especially when what you are looking for is so...common a search for married couples. On the other hand, being nice to the newbies is always something to shoot for. Again, I kind...

Thanks again, Kevin It's frustrating in a mildly irritating way, since I don't know what she's on about, ever, but I'm doing alright, and I'm relatively patient (now that I know our friendship isn't at stake). Besides, I'm so giggly all the time, it warms me just to get to sit on a couch with her.

"Strong cup of coffee" is how my husband describes me, although I really like your sig line as well. I find that people either love me or hate me, and if I were interested in dating in any broad sense, I think I'd get the political out of the way first. Husband and I met surrounded by...

This is what is throwing me, too, actually.

Can you please delete post #3 in this thread? Yes, I know if it had been in the 12 hour window, I'd have been able to edit/delete it myself. It didn't even get mod approval for nearly that long. Didn't realize I'd been caught up in the newbie spam filter, and so posted again (with a few...

Longer story coming soon ...but I can get into a little more of it here. I take a long time to develop strong friendships, and the times I've fallen, even into a crush like this, involve close friends. I can count them on one hand and have fingers left over. It means I'm not particularly...

Huh. Your stories both made me sad (as I've recently fallen rather hard into ... hell if I know) with my best friend while married to my husband, and I'd like to think it could be something that went well. Also, your break-up story makes my heart hurt. As to the Ascension, I too am curious...

“I just want *that* one.” This was said in a conversation this month with my husband of nearly 10 years, as we were discussing our trip-and-fall into the poly discussion. I was saying that all the poly discussions, even the use of the word, really, send me reeling a bit because I don’t really...