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Hi Bangel, I just read back through your entire thread. I used to be in your wife's position. Now I am in yours. The thread reads completely differently now that I can relate to your feelings, too! I am devastated by my husband falling in love with another woman. Now I'm feeling all the...

Living situation -- still living under the same roof, trying to keep my damn mouth shut and not be snarky and nasty... not being very successful. :(

Well, for starters, I'm: -- Coming here and spilling my guts, "keeping it real" :p -- Reading "Codependent No More" AND starting the workbook exercises. Working on that and the 12-steps with a sponsor, finally. -- Focusing on being more present and attentive to my kids. -- Doing a little...

Your brother was hit by a car?? So sorry to hear that. :( Did he survive?? How is he?? I fight those tendencies, too, to call and cry on someone's shoulder. You were right not to. You are strong, and you can find other resources for your comfort and support. Babies' laughter -- I agree, one of...

Anneintherain. You. Are. Brilliant. I was writing my response as yours came in. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Such sound advice and perspective from your own personal experience. You have given me great hope.

I think he wants to find the path of least resistance. The easiest way. But that way is not so clear. I think he's in the place most people find themselves in when they have a broken marriage and kids: Whose happiness comes first? I think he's torn -- -- on one hand, he'd like to stay...

First -- How beautifully enhanced? I realize that's a rhetorical question, haha. If you're into the silicone thing, or ever watched porn, well, I guess you've seen them. I've seen the naked pictures she's sent him. Nothing particularly unique. She does have really nice hair, which he has...

Thanks, opal. When I cut through all the pain and anger, I can see it the way you can. This is the way my mom sees Sundance right now, too, even though she is hurting along with me. Because of that, I feel there is hope we can get through this and someday salvage a friendship, at least.

Does he like and enjoy the situation? I guess that depends, who's asking him, and if he would tell the truth. And if you believe what he says, or if you look at his actions (which generally speak louder, right?) He's not changing anything. He's still seeing her and lying to me. He's telling me...

Minxxa, If there is a god, that power works through you. Your words couldn't have been more validating for me today. We had an argument again earlier tonight, he saw me crying and he tells me I'm overreacting*. When I asked him why he hasn't responded to anything I've written, he says he...

Well, isn't it a process? I mean, I didn't really see this coming. I underestimated NRE, but I may have been able to get through it if he'd been more considerate and honest. I had no idea what this was going to bring out in him. Polyamory was my way to come clean, to be real, to be as honest and...

My daughter is in town -- the one who stopped speaking to me when she heard we were polyamorous. I talked to her a couple times last week. We had a good conversation and I think she was a little more at peace with me. I haven't shared anything with her about the latest developments. She doesn't...

On to brighter things, Tiny. I'm also grieving the loss of what I'd hoped would be a poly relationship, as well as the deterioration of my marriage. Poly is so complex, and takes such a profound courage to try something outside the box, I think it makes it all the harder to go through a...

LS, Do you know something? I think it is incredibly cool that you came here with a question, a problem, a concern...... BEFORE it got so far gone you were in a big bad ugly mess, AND you listened with an open mind, looked at some other people's experiences in similar situations, considered some...

Minxxa, you sweetie:) I'm reading Codependent No More, right now! Just borrowed it from a friend's bookshelf, 2 days ago. And I've been going to Alanon for 14 YEARS!!!! Can you even imagine how sick I'd be, if I HADN'T?!?!?! But I recently realized, I'd been missing a crucial part of STEP ONE...

MR, some of the best food for thought I have ever read on this forum. W.O.W. OhSnap, hope things are going ok for you today.

Oh, also -- Sundance told me yesterday that he read through this whole blog. "ALL 48 pages of it" (or however many there are), he said, implying that my blogging has been EXCESSIVE. I'm not entirely sure he read everything, who knows? Probably scanned it, at least. I must admit, it's a lot of...

Sundance's boss is eccentric. Sundance is the president, and when he came on he set up the insurance for himself as a family policy. There was no discussion of this, it was just something Sundance did and didn't really give it much thought -- I mean, OF COURSE the president of your company has...

So you're going from a "checkmark" to a "V" :rolleyes: I think one question is, will the expectations/responsibilities within the relationship with F change? ("If it ain't broke, don't fix it!")

Mr. FFR, I feel like I don't need to blog for awhile -- you spoke volumes of the truth in my situation. I am humbled and in awe, and I have to let it all sink in. Last night I guess Sundance was ON the forum, because I have a "friend request" from him. I can't say if he read a thing or not, I...