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Thanks for sharing! A bit of jealousy and a bit of guilt would be normal. I would suggest to just allow these feelings, acknowledge them to one another and then move on. Trying to deny or stifle feelings that are normal is where problems can crop up. Sometimes if feelings are extreme, a...

Welcome to the forum! I agree with a lot of what you have said. When seriously thinking about my personal values, I realized a long time ago that I value freedom over security. So- I have set up a life of freedom and in doing that I realized that I do value security some also. At the same...

This isn't a poly issue. It's a co-dependency issue. I suggest 6 Al-Anon meetings in 6 weeks. Good luck! :)

Congrats and welcome. I would suggest to take things slow and don't make things out to be more than they actually are. It takes time to get to know someone else. NRE can really distort reality. Remain grounded and try not to let unrealistic expectations sweep you off your feet. The first poly...

Welcome to the forum! I would say that this is just like any type of relationship. Take time (18 to 24 months) to see of the relationship(s) are secure and lasting. If they seem to be strong after that much time, then you could consider sharing- but only with people who are open to non-...

I certainly understand! I will share my process. I am 56 years old. I was raised in the Deep South (Bible belt) as a good little Catholic girl. My parents are monogamous and (until my Dad passed) were together for 58 years. I was raised in a monogamous culture and was told fairy tales which...

I would suggest that the two of you continue to visualize what it is that you do want......spend more time focusing on that rather that the negative things that you are anticipating to happen. When my partner and I entered the lifestyle, we spent time visualizing how positive it would be and...

Thanks for sharing. I understand how frustrating it can be! I am hearing two things in your post. 1- you do not believe in your own (and your wifes) ability to evolve mentally and emotionally. 2- your views of integrity and loyalty seem to be limiting you in your own mental and emotional...

Welcome! And I wanted to add that I look for "quality over quantity". I have a long distance partner that I have known for 15 years and I love him dearly. We try spend at least a week together per year. Even though we don't have more time than that together, he is one of the most important...

Welcome! You will get a lot of different opinions and ideas here. Personally, I would never start any type of relationship by skyping for hours every night. That is simply too much too soon for me. I like relationships to evolve on their own without having to do marathon communications every...

Who are you addressing this post to? You are using the word "you" a lot. Do you mean 1- someone in particular- if so, you must really know them well. 2-people in general (as in we humans tend to....) 3- yourself. Just curious!

Clearly the girlfriend is a cowgirl..... Cowgirl refers to a monogamous person who meets someone who openly identifies as polyamorous, becomes romantically involved with them, and attempts to "cut them out of the herd," meaning: persuade them to sever existing relationships and embrace monogamy.

Wow! That is shocking! Sorry to hear that! Wish you well as you move forward!

Welcome- I read your other posts and I would suggest that you start a blog here! There is a blog section for that! Btw- We call his girlfriend a cowgirl. Have you heard the term yet? How long have they been seeing each other? Sounds like you are handling it well. Giving him the space to...

Projection I also wanted to share something about projection. The best way for me to do that is to share something that I have experienced- in the last few weeks. For me- saying that someone is "projecting" is not a judgment call. We all do it- all the time. Here is what I've been going...

I like to be challenged. Especially if the argument is good enough to make me change my mind. But we are far from that in this case. I didn’t say “don’t Judge” because I think judging is “bad”. Quite the contrary. I don’t believe in labeling things as “good” and “Bad” hence there is no need...

Thanks for sharing! I like reading your posts!

In a perfect world But sometimes I have to. But sometimes he doesn't. But sometimes couples mutually choose to create rules. True, but sometimes he slips up..... hell, sometimes I slip up and act the fool!!! We're humans not machines! :-)

Welcome to the forum! I hope you get a lot of feedback and support here! It certainly may not be necessary to unravel your primary relationship in order to pursue a poly lifestyle. Takes things slowly and deliberately. My philosophy is that if the lifestyle can be beneficial to everyone...

Okay- I guess I would agree. It is certainly your right to make a judgement call if that is what you feel like you need to do. i'm trying to think of something that offends me in terms of something that someone else is choosing to do and I can't really think of anything. Maybe it's my age...