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Actually, while a lot of new people coming in seem to want the holy grail of a triad situation, if you actually look around, you'll see many people in Vs, or N's, or W's. Or other configurations that letters just can not work out! I've seen quite a few where they may have two loves, but one...

I tried to comment on this as well. If you wait until you are both completely comfortable, it will never happen. You can't GET comfortable until things happen and you find out it's not as scary as you thought. So if you are anxious, nervous and a little worried, move forward, I suggest S L O...

The obvious point that is being missed is, if she can rape him because he's a criminal, guess what? She's raped him, that's a crime, she's now a criminal. So what, he gets to rape her? Justifications don't work. Think of it in terms of small kids, who make the best judges. If it's wrong...

My advice, GO SLOW! Honestly, people are going to tell you get rid of those rules they are fear based. Well they are, but when you are starting out you are scared as hell! We got yelled at horribly, and abusively for 'rules' we set when we started out. It didn't matter what the...

Um, wow. Okay first thing, understand you are making a ton of assumptions that are just not good. Assumptions really don't work out well in poly. Clarity does. Now, to the stuff you are assuming. Straight women can have threesomes. Just because a woman and a man are straight does not mean no...

Oh yeah, the oppression thing. Hmm, well, let's see. Women have been oppressed for a very long time, so they should get AT LEAST three get out of jail free cards. And black people! Black people are oppressed! So they should get like, four. Oh! And Jews! Jews had that whole holocaust thing...

I'm sorry. I typically do NOT agree with Marcus on many things. I often even skip posts because I know I won't agree and don't feel like arguing it. This I agree with. I am so sick and tired of the bullshit. You can NOT have it both ways. You can not say that gender doesn't matter, women are...

It bothers me to no end that this happens so often. Men being branded rapists because a girl got too drunk, tried stuff and then was embarrassed when she sobered up, or when she was turned down, and so cried rape. It pisses me off, which is seriously not vehement enough. As someone that has...

I'm afraid the more you post the more stunned I am. Hate for Franklin, and I'm not exactly a fan anyway, is just spewed! It doesn't matter WHAT the subject is, you bring it back. Get some help. You have too many conspiracy theories, too much hate, and think way too little of men to be...

Yes yes, but I meant for those of us actually TAKING our medications.

I forget, what's the opposite of misogyny again?

There was actually a case RECENTLY where a judge dismissed a case of rape because the rapists didn't actually come, therefore, it wasn't really rape.

Uhhh, sorry but I would just state, as firmly as possible, that you don't believe in relationships where you are REQUIRED to have X number of like interests. You prefer to be yourself. I can't even imagine insisting on someone doing something with me. I like to do certain things that hubby...

I'd have to go with [A]. It hasn't happened as of yet, but my kiddos are all 'tween-teenaged, and while they know of my OSO, haven't had a chance to meet him in person. It's long distance, but they have gotten their little faces in while Skyping and have texted and all of that with him. There...

DADT is Don't Ask Don't Tell. Typically, spells trouble because someone is going to figure something out and feel badly. No honesty or transparency. The rest is that London is saying they do NOT date mono people. Only non mono people and no one that can't possibly be a long term...

Here's the thing. It's not about not understanding how upsetting and freaked out you both feel. It would be EASIER to say they were predatory and you both were hapless victims. That way you could both band together and talk of the bad bad things these other people did TO you. What they did was...

So I'm going to try and keep this short. I understand what you are going through, trying hard to have some sort of relationship with your parents, even though they were abusive. I have spent many months in hospital for mental issues and it always came back to me trying to have a relationship...

When I saw it I thought, you know there are other areas with that city name so let me check. Nope! That's local for me! Sadly, our local poly mailing list gets more intros like this than you would believe. Not many are even replied to even as a welcome, since they don't join in conversations...

It sounds like on one hand you are right, she is still in a relationship with him. They just changed what kind of priority they gave each other and what they wanted from the relationship. If it works for them then good on them! Relationships can change. We are used to being told they either...

I am sure you are getting a lot of advice, and from a lot of different angles. All I can offer is what I remember from when my marriage was in a similar situation. When *I* was in a similar situation. DH is not uncaring, he is not blase'. The big thing I learned, and it was in a book about...