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Understand that typically when the person first comes here and asks about their 'Unicorn', for the most part people are careful and kind. They give some advice, warn against all those broken bicycles at the bottom of the hill, and offer suggestions to read up on it. Of course, the reaction...

I won't pretend to know a lot about D/s relationships, but even from the small bit I have learned, a Dom does not get to break boundaries and make unilateral decisions on such important information! You are totally upset and well within your rights to be. Be upset, vent. Don't make a...

I'm positive this has been addressed on here before but it's probably the first thing that should be given out to those couples that are looking for a third just to give them a quick over view. http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/02/02/the-care-and-feeding-of-unicorns/...

The 'wrong way' is that wifey wasn't happy. He was honest and upfront. When asked to back off, he did, when things were being discussed and he was told they needed time, he gave it. So, while the wifey is trying to make him feel like the bad guy, and having done things 'the wrong way,' what he...

When everything started with DH and me, it was because of an online affair I was having. I was lying. I was being a royal douchebag asshat. Totally. The thing is, he reached out for help. He knew that I had dated more than one person in high school, that I was the kind of person to have adopted...

You are making a lot of considerations of what you will leave open for the new person. The hard part of this is that you can't. You have NO IDEA what this new person will want out of life. You discuss the idea that she may want kids. Well maybe she dies. What if she doesn't want them with...

Just to clarify, this is the first time you have posted that you are in a D/s relationship. So that's probably why people had issues with some of the boundaries you and yoru husband have. Without the D/s context there will be different opinions. As far as the 'get a dog' comment. I stick by...

Can I just say, from an outside perspective, a poly bi woman, just from what you posted here, this is what I see: "We are a committed, long term couple looking for a woman that will be interested in dating both of us, romantically involved with the husband, perhaps the wife, be home for the...

You guys started on this path to poly through an affair. Many of us here have. There are several steps to get from cheating to poly. There are things you can't rush. My DH and I were in a very similar situation. It kind of drives us nutty when people have an affair and discover they can love...

Yes, and no. I mean at first I was like, why else would you break up? Then I thought maybe we don't have the same definition in our heads on principle. Here's what people are saying, most people have their own personal rules about not dating someone that is lying or cheating. At the base of...

Your dynamic will of course change. You will have your relationship with him, his with her, yours with her, all three of you together. Things will change, that's honestly why this particular relationship model is so daunting and why women are leery of couples. If it changes, are you willing...

I would suggest reading other threads first. http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1830 Are links to lots of great ones. You may also want to really stop and think about what you are looking for and how it will work. NOT just for you two, but a third person who is a human being...

Okay, I know I might get flamed or in trouble for this but I have to say something. I've been reading this posts and not posting just because there is honestly SO MUCH. I will try and sum up but I know I will miss stuff. Here's why I, and probably a few others, haven't replied yet. 1) You...

Oh, and dating sites for women are just hard. I know men have it hard, in that women don't reply much. For women, it seems to be the opposite. I have in my profile that I am poly, that I have a husband and a boyfriend, that I am not into casual sex, I do not date couples, I will not have a...

Another note, is that this isn't really a site to find people to have a relationship with. There are a lot of dating sites for that, and people have discussed them before. Not that it's impossible to find someone on here that you click with, just like anywhere else. Mostly this is a forum to...

And there's the bottom line. Sure, everyone has the right to happiness. If they feel that they shouldn't have to compromise on their requirements then fine. Just don't get upset if it takes you longer to find someone that feels THEY can be happy with all of YOUR requirements. You aren't...

Well, do you define what 'like minded' means? Since it means something different to everyone. We had this discussion on another list. What does it mean to say 'like minded'? Really it's making an assumption that A) they know who you are. B) what kind of mind you have, and C) that they are...

Which is fine, the question posed by the OP was about finding a couple specifically to date and when they don't right away like both members of the couple, they seem to give up. Looking for a couple that they both like equally and likes them equally. Taking it slow and getting to know people...

When we were first working on things because there was the need to rebuild trust, it was understood that everything was allowed to be read. I wasn't actively romantically involved with anyone, so it was just messages to friends, and things like that. That was established. It was something we...

That's my point, and why we use "envy" instead of "jealousy." Jealousy has already gotten a bad rap and given negative connotations. Envy of Ted is more along the lines of "Wish I was making out with Susie," or even, "Wish I had someone to make out with." Jealousy is more like feeling, "Ugh...