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SnarklePop- I think you are right, it is tougher sometimes coming from a marital standpoint, wondering if you feel this way about Poly because it speaks to who you are as a person, or is it because you are a having issues you are avoiding (perhaps without notice). I appreciate your comments, it...

It's a long story that I don't feel like divulging yet. More so wondering about how people know that their current relationships are not flawed before going poly. I would really like to continue polyamory in my future relationships, but how does one know their relationship is ready and strong...

I would work on your relationship and possible trust issues first (I would have trust issues anyway). Nothing will tear apart a flawed relationship faster than complicating it with new partners and situations. Her rushing you into this isn't fair. If she cared about your feelings, it seems she...

How can one tell when they are married, if they are poly or if there are problems in their marriage that they are trying to escape from? Last year my husband and I started practicing polyamory. It went wonderfully, I felt so fulfilled and free. He was fine with it as well, although didn't find...

I was wondering... I know it varies from state to state, but generally, if someone was married, had a child by another man, could they then hyphenate their last name to reflect that of both men? I mean, can one just change their name on a whim, or does there need to be a marriage to do that?

Haha, oh man that is awesome! I never even think about the affection I am giving either partner when we are all out together. I am open in front of our neighbors, I wonder what they think! My husband doesn't have another partner right now, so I feel like I am the one that looks like the slut :P...

My boyfriend is going to one of his friend's wedding today. They invited me ("Hey are we finally going to meet your girl?") but he didn't, because he assumed that it would be too public, as I am married with kids and the possible FB photos that could follow. I understand, but I wish it had been...

Yay for a happy update! There should be a gushing forum for that purpose. Sometimes I feel so happy with my relationship, I just want to go on and read something positive about someone else. There are a lot of people asking for advice, but few who are just sharing to share. So, thank you! I am...

Every poly unit works differently, I have come to find out. I am also married with a BF. I am a very honest and upfront person, so I always tell people the entire story and encourage questions upfront. Also, a rule in my relationship is that the partners need to meet as soon as it becomes "more...

I always have luck with OKC. I have met three boyfriends that way, but in meeting other women, I have only made friends from it. I think women are more sensitive in online sites than men, making them pretty defensive on OKC.

Thanks GG! You bring up some good points. I like that "BF forks over the BF play book, and if she cannot hack playing there, she makes her choice." That would be awesome if that is how it were. The issue here is that he is the one making a choice, based on what he thinks she might think. No...

Good questions NYC! I am wondering what I really meant by that too. Basically I am having issues currently with my new partner who is trying poly for the first time. We have been dating just 3 months now and a month ago he started courting another woman. I didn't feel like we were solid enough...

In your experience, how long do you wait in a new relationship before adding another partner? Is there a basic time, or does it depend on the relationship? I am just curious as to what everyone else thinks about this, as it seems to have been up for interpretation in my own relationships. One...

Thank you guys, it really helps me to hear all that! I was thinking very much along those lines as well. This is his first poly relationship and the first person we are adding to ours (well, not quite yet, but possibly). I am communicating to him my needs, which he feels defensive of. Its an odd...

I have been poly for a year now, on my second extramarital relationship. We are running into the same issues that ended it for my last relationship. (Only this time I am on the other side of it, which is helpful for learning.) My question is this: How do you deal with NRE in your other partner...

I am in a very similar situation, only a bit more evolved on the poly end. My husband and I rarely have sex. We both have great drive and we used to have awesome chemistry together, but for the last two years its been gone. I just don't want to have sex with my husband anymore. I have a...

Not sure what good it will do, but I joined. Support is support, right? (I think many of us are searching for unicorns out there, definitely among the norm on this site!) But thanks nonetheless! (Oh and also, for bi women, there is a bi girl site: www.shybi.com )

Update! So, I had a long, pain inducing discussion with my husband. I told him everything in my mind, all ugly details and fears, my lack of lust and my waning interest. There were some tears, but sometimes you have to tear something down before you can build it back up, right? Since that night...

JaneQ- Thank you for your insights! Although I don't think that differing sex drives/love languages is in effect here, I like that insight. I hadn't stopped to think about my need for physical affection as a love language. It makes a lot of sense and makes me feel less needy. My husband and I...

I did a tag search for divorce, because I am in a similar (not same) situation. A year before we introduced poly, our sex life took a turn. I think it might be just me, but whatever it is, I can't finish having sex with him when I start. I feel used. I try to just stick it out for him, but...