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I can only imagine how difficult it must be to live with someone you want but can't have. I know how you feel about mono partners, as well. Mine is trying to see the poly side of things, but I end up feeling like he is my keeper, something that really irks me. I hate having to ask permission...

Oh wow! you guys are awesome!! Your responses have really helped me put it all into perspective. My husband has put in place a "friends only" rule for now (this has been the case for a month). It is difficult to let a relationship grow as it naturally would under these circumstances. I am...

Very good points! The new guy is actually already married and is an experience poly-guy, which is SO comforting for a newbie. He wants to meet him and vice versa, just figuring out timing. He is a really cool guy who I think my husband would really like as they share some common interests. I...

Oh and I forgot to mention. I have been talking to this guy online for 2 months, and only recently started seeing him in person. {Not sure if that info will help, but more is merrier, right? Lol} Thanks you awesome supports!!

I have been moving slowly into polyamorism, for my husbands sake. It has been going very well, no issues there! He actually has a profile on OKC now, which pleases me very much. I just had a question about secondaries.. I met a guy that I really like, just as friends for now, but I could see...

Try meeting folks online, through craigslist or Okcupid. Or you could look for the local poly groups, which I am sure are huge in NYC. Not sure about the Catskils though ;) Good luck!

A question for you: When he says that you are feeling more strongly for him than he is for you, do you think he is trying to tell you something? I would take that as an immediate red flag that he isn't all that into me. Perhaps I misunderstood your post?

While I am glad to hear many points of view on the subject, MT couldn't have summed up my thoughts better. Thank you MT for pointing out that this is a mere analogy, not a truth about my depth of feelings for people (because, if it were that shallow, I would just go out for ice cream).

I agree with many of the PP. I feel that it is near impossible to find a person who wants to be an addition to a couple, and if you do, you always have to take them into consideration. They may not have the same designs as you do, they may not be attracted to both of you, there are just way too...

Wow, thanks guys! I really appreciate your insights, it could be any one of those, lol. Looks like I have something to talk about with him tonight :) We communicate effortlessly, I have expressed my feelings directly in a variety of ways and analogies (that seem to just work for me, lol), I...

It seems that every time I have a poly talk with my husband, I have to break something within us both and rebuild it each time. Like the conversations are potentially damaging, but then we heal up stronger than we were before it. My issue is that he seems to make progress after each one of...

As a complete newbie, I would suggest, if the relationship is basically over, why not give it a shot anyway? What do you have to lose, really? Either it is over now, or later, or it works out. At least if you try it, you will know it for sure and have learned something in the process.

Oh! I love it! Ha, bathrooms, right! Both analogies seem to fit my situation. I just want the freedom to experience life and love to their fullest, not replace something that I currently love. It feels good to have a little support on this issue :)

My husband was having a tough night with the poly talk, last night. So to further describe where I was coming from I made up an analogy, which explains my feelings perfectly. Perhaps it can help someone too? Picture that you have a huge dish of chocolate ice cream. It is the tastiest chocolate...

Wow, what great advice! I am in the opposite situation, but it gives me wonderful insights as to how to help my husband deal! Magdlyn- You completely hit the nail on the head. thank you!

Wow, how exciting! It is amazing when things actually start to come together when they once seemed so far off and impossible. I am sure everyone else will concur, but, be careful with your hearts (if you are bearing them). "Easy come, easy go" but I don't always believe that. Truly, I have no...

Thanks for the tip! Yeah I am not sure if that would ever happen, but the idea that he is considering it is immense. Also, I told him, "If you can find a girl to have a threesome with, and shes not a B##, I am in" My thought is that this will be a near impossible thing to find. I am not sure...

Just an update. My husband has been trying to avoid the poly talk (subconsciously, I think). I keep cornering him and gently bringing it up. I talked with him last night (for a while), but it helped that I voiced my concerns that I thought he was avoiding it. Also that it wasn't going away, that...

I can almost feel your excitement! Thank you for sharing, especially to those of us who are not quite there yet (we are still talking)! Love your e-names for your loves, neato! Also, props for loving your "amazing lotus flower", so hot to hear that kind of confidence!;)

Awesome. Just awesome. So glad you set her straight! It sounds like she is a little freaky..."we are one" what? did they get surgery to accomplish that? Brings me back to my Star Trek days, the Borg, right? Creepy. Good job dodging that bullet.:eek: