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Carma, your posts are relevant and helpful. I haven't responded directly because they leave me with more things to think about than things to say. I have read the last few pages of your blog as well. Feel free to type away!

I'm sorry and will accept it as that then. As I said, it can be very difficult to read intentions in this format. I suppose that is especially true if it isn't something you want to hear. But it wasn't wasted, I have read it twice. I'll probably read it again in the future, when I'm not so...

Fair enough, but hopefully he and his wife will have time to grow in to things before it gets that far. Maybe they will start out as swingers, many of us did, and grow in to poly. Maybe his wife will like the attention so much that she runs off with the first dude she meets. We have seen it all...

Okay, not A rant, a bunch of rants added together. I'm sorry if the word I chose offends you or Cindie. The content comes across as accusatory, not as from a place of caring. Such is the deficiency of typed communication, we are left with only words to sort out the intention. Regardless, I...

I got six hours of sleep tonight. Normally that little would border on traumatic, but after the past week it is actually enough to be a little refreshing. Yesterday went mostly okay. At times it was hard for various reasons. The first is that I'm still fucking crazy about this woman! But every...

Just to clarify, it is only veganchick who has acted this way. I don't have any ill feelings toward Paul. Sounds like all he got out of this was some unsatisfying sex and some drama he probably didn't need.

Cindie, the only thing I can gather from your rant is that you are really very curious about veganchick's side of the story. That's cool with me. But seeing as you have already asked her directly for it. I'll leave that between you and her. If you can't figure out where the lying was in this...

Thanks everyone for continuing the discussion while I was away today. It was good for me to step away and enjoy a fun filled kidtacular day. I have read and appreciate everything written. I'm too exhausted to make any direct replies right now. I think I may be almost ready to share this thread...

Yes, I have elaborated on that above. I'm still waiting for anything that sounds like a sincere apology. So far veganchick seems mostly upset that this has caused her a huge problem, rather than any sympathy at all for me. I'm trying to be patient and give it time. Guilty. I'm processing the...

I so wish that were true, it would make this so much easier. Unfortunately, it was all 100% sober for all involved. :mad: Thanks, I could use some of those about now.

I gathered a little of that from what you wrote. Thought it was awesome that you're so excited (literally :D ) about the whole thing. So many sob stories on here, your dynamic is refreshing. I also had that dynamic in my own relationship up until now. It was nice to be reminded of it.

Funny thing is that I don't think she did feel that she had to lie. As of now I don't think she even meant to lie. That's just the first thing that popped out of her mouth. Maybe shocked herself even? Only then did all of the dynamics discussed in the last few posts came in to play, not for fear...

There is definitely some condescension there! The lies made all of this feel like little more than cheating, not poly. Worse even than cheating really. It is fueled by the anger and hurt, in a big way. But I'm here to grow and so I'll take your words in stride. I'll look deeper. May be that a...

Wow, even after your cheating, he had a hard time telling you. That gives me a lot to think about! I'm still having a hard time believing anything she says right now, but if she really is being honest, this makes some sense although it is more complex than just being afraid to tell me. While...

Flirting is sharing, poly has to start somewhere.

You might be right, that was certainly my initial reaction and still a large portion of how I feel. Part of me wants to look away from your words and part of me is very grateful for the validation. Not sure what's right at the moment, but like many of the sentiments above I will carry these...

Thank you so much for your kind words Carma. You truly understand how much I need that right now. It saddens me that you are going through the same thing. It is extremely difficult to go from happy, grounded and on top of the world one day to not knowing what the next will bring, especially when...

Sound advice I'm sure. I'll keep in mind and heart while navigating the days ahead.

Wow, very valid point and a perspective I hadn't even considered. Maybe too much trusting on my part even after all that has happened? I'll try to keep my mind and senses open to all possibilities. Definitely gives me something to think about!

Well, veganchick's initial emails were basically candy-coated form letters, which was pretty disappointing to say the least. For some reason she couldn't see the candy-coating and expected a harsh response. Paul and Meghan have replied so far. Both offered the response I would expect based on...