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    Help! My husband wants to be poly, but I'm mono.

    Does your husband want 'relationships' with other women or just one off sexual contact(swinging)? I think its very importsnt to define EXACTLY what he wants,before moving forward.
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    Navigating Holiday periods

    True,it shouldn't but she stalked me when she was pregnant and is mentally unstable,thus I don't feel inclined to be in the same space as her,and he understands and agrees with that. And no,they're not together anymore,but I don't want to be involved in their unhealthy dynamic. As long as he...
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    Navigating Holiday periods

    I think that's what we're going to have to do,we're hoping to get together in january,both our schedules permitting,my work doesn't allow for holidays but I have a client flying in from the US in late January so I'm going to try and put together a birthday celebration for him then. I have a...
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    Reasonable Boundaries

    I guess it comes down to the individual couple. I like boundaries. My bf is a little more fluid, but he does tell me when he has a date and things might occur, and he normally asks me how I feel. For me, some people are more 'safe' than others, and this is something I have to come to terms...
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    Navigating Holiday periods

    My bf and I are in a LDR and he also has 4 children with 2 different women,whereas I have none. I understand that Christmas is primarily for the children but he is spending the holidays(Christmas and NYE) with his ex wife,ex girlfriend and their children and there is no room for me. I've never...
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    Dealing with a new partner's disapproving friends/family

    I am mono and my bf poly,and naturally my close friends I DID tell were concerned about me,but they have never badmouthed my bf because they like him and see we are in a difficult dynamic. What I've learned is that you have to develop a thicker skin with this kind of set up because it is not...
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    Am I the one in the wrong?

    Agreed,you need to set an end date to this arrangement. And I do think it was a bit selfish to have these peope foisted on you,you have a right to feel comfortable in your own home.
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    A difficult situation

    Thank you GS :) And yes I have come to realize that no matter how much we want to 'help' and fix things',it has to come from the individual themselves. Its better just to say ones piece and let it go.. I have told him that both me and his secondary are here for him,not so much for advice,but...
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    A long story

    Knowing, understanding and accepting that one's SO is polyamorous are completely different. I know and understand my bf is poly, but I think full acceptance is a way off, and I'm on a journey of figuring out whether it is the right path for me. I get on well with his secondary. I accept his...
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    Your source of insecurity/jealousy

    My insecurity comes from 3 areas, lack of decisive communication(like saying one thing and doing another),being talked about behind my back and having my trust broken. They all make me wary,defensive or angry.
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    A difficult situation

    My boyfriend of 11 months is in a complicated family setup,he has 3 children with his ex wife and a 5 month old baby with his ex girlfriend. He has very little spare time for himself which in part is due to his refusal to go down the proper custodial route with his exes,he basically lets them...
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    Developing a thicker skin

    Thanks GS,I'll look those up :)
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    New to the Site

    Welcome to the board! :)
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    New to the Site and Polyamory

    Welcome to the board! :)
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    Developing a thicker skin

    River,you are right,I do have some self esteem issues relating to my childhood and ongoing relationship with my father. He has exactly the same personality but is more volatile and explosive. I spoke to my partner about it tonight and he said 95% of the time I have good self esteem but...
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    Developing a thicker skin

    I have never taken criticism well so I have developed a very antagonistic nature and when provoked/criticised I generally bite back,I can't seem to 'breathe' and let it go ie think before I react/speak. My partners ex girlfriend(who he has a child with) and I have never got on but somehow until...
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    16 yr. old daughter upset by polyamory

    My partners children(13,11 and 8) have not been specifically told about their Dad's polyamory but they are aware of the emotional connection he has with their mother,the friendship he has with his ex girlfriend(and their baby) and that I am his girlfriend. He is always honest with them and...
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    Should I be with the third wheel? Or should he get over it?

    Before he met me,my partner was involved in a V with his now ex wife and his new girlfriend. When both of those went sideways and he began to see me,the ex girlfriend behaved irrationally and abominably and has tried to keep us apart(they have a child together). My partner was living in some...
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    Long distance love

    The main reason the LDR works for me right now is very much related to both of us liking and needing our own space and independence. My SO has 4 children and they take up ALOT of his time,and much as I love children,I don't want to be in their space 24/7 or have them in mine. We(the kids and I)...
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    Love Language Profile

    40% physical touch 27% quality time 17% words of affirmation 13% acts of service 3% receiving gifts I am very tactile and do not expect anything from my SO in the way of gifts...interesting!
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