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After a week of pure unadulterated upset/rage I feel settled. I'm over hearing assumptions and making them. I have asked for clarification and disclosure. I'm calm enough to have examined aspects of my relationship with Lior, and aspects of our selves. I accept that he will make the decisions...

They had sex and a couple of days later Petra told him she had an incurable STI. He hasn't gotten tested yet so no one knows if he has it too.

OMG I just accidentally deleted my post. *tries not to throw things* It's been a few months and much has changed for me. I went through a very traumatic dissolution of a friendship and moved into a new apartment. The shifts have been quick-fast, and so has played on my psychological well-being...

Love this, and fully agree. A friend of mine, after hearing my fears and rants about the recent upheaval in my own relationship, asked me if I "still want to do poly." I just said poly wasn't the issue, and it isn't. Never even crossed my mind to demand monogamy again. It's the lessons I'm...

The day after my last post Lior apologized and we've been talking as "normal" ever since. Haven't touched on poly, or Petra, or any of it. Not sure when we will but it's been a good change of pace to just be able to breathe and stretch after so much upheaval.

Big blowout today. Lior told me to leave him be. And I will be doing just that.

I go back and forth on things I'd like to say to Lior but don't because I feel like they won't have the impact they need to have. I have questions, numerous ones. None of them have answers worth hearing; not based on what has been uncovered and realized thus far. He doesn't want me to resent...

Sometimes it's difficult to picture where this is all headed. I don't necessarily mind because that is very much real life. On the other hand, I am alone in my stance. It's... an unusual space to be in, but it is where I am, and I am steadfast. For the first time Lior is telling me I am using...

I'm more level. I have bursts of anger here and there, but they usually fade as quickly as they arise. It's easy for me to come up with cutting remarks to direct towards Lior; I mostly decide to keep them to myself. My best bet is to take each day as it comes, especially up until I hear back...

A few hours after my last post I sent an email to Lior detailing everything that has caused me to question him as a person and as a partner. It was the piecing together of the shitstorm that has been taking place since earlier this week, things that I needed him to read for the sake of any...

About an hour ago I had a good, loud, heaving cry. Earlier I teared up but I guess as time progressed the dam just broke. I don't expect to right now but I can't wrap my head around discovering that when it comes to some very grey areas Lior will go where I simply won't even consider. It's...

Huge life-altering news I have decided that Lior and I will no longer be physically intimate going forward in lieu of some information I received a few hours ago. The relationship itself is not over but that part of it is no longer on the table for the time being unless a change of heart occurs...

Woke up feeling a bit shaky after this weird disappointing dream I had. Lior wasn't in it but Isaac (our son) was, along with my mom (who has been deceased for some years now). I had some passing recollections of our conversations as of late and my anxiety started blooming so I'm trying to sit...

During this process I'm trying to spread around the unloading around a bit. Writing, talking, reading. Lior is saying that he feels antagonized and on the verge of an anxiety attack. IMHO I equate that to my processing not going according to his plan, and him trying to tread as lightly as...

Some of the emotional UGH that has arisen: We haven't seen each other in almost 2 months. That will change soon, hopefully, but in the meantime being apart and hearing about intimacy with someone else from afar is UGH. I'm not where I want to be socially or professionally. In that vein, I've...

Hi everyone. :p I've been around for a while but decided to start a blog to help me better manage and process on my end of things in my poly/poly relationship, due to things shifting as of late. Just for further clarity: I have been with my S/O (male, pan) for almost 6 years; we're parents...

Just wanted to say glad you've started a blog here EL. Lots of food for thought for me personally.

Good to hear from you Red, even if there are some uncertainties present right now. Hoping for the best for you and yours. (Hi Mono! *waves*)

I'm afraid I can't be of much help to the OP, but thanks, everyone, for the laughs. 😅

I don't think I've ever wanted to swing, but I am still interested in connecting with people while not necessarily being in a relationship with them, more so situations steeped in friendship. I would LOVE that. I had it when I was single, so I know it's possible. lol