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When the bad in people purposely disrespects the person in your life and therefore has no intention of supporting goodwill in general amongst yourselves you need to wake the hell up. There's no other way for me to put that. I have had close relatives try and interfere in my relationship and...

I've been in that space myself, just holding things in, until it gets so uncomfortable and hot I burst. I think you should probably start by being honest, with yourself. If something really does bother you, accept that it bothers you, and write it down. A part of my internal changes have come...

*hugs* I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now Red. The trip away sounds like a good idea; there are many many times I wish I could just go be somewhere else for a while, to centre myself, to listen to nothing but air, to recharge and regain the energy to revamp. I hope it does...

I just want to understand: WHY them in particular? Do you HAVE to engage sexually with these people? I'm glad you came to the forum with the issue because I don't get a good vibe about any of this from genebean, and her feeling safe should be of utmost importance to you, above and beyond the...

I think you might be dealing with leftover resentment over that trip you took. He might be more hurt than he let on.

I'm specifically referring to the most recent exes, both mine and his. I wouldn't be comfortable with her as a metamour because when they were together before, there was always the threat of violence and sometimes a follow-through as well on her end anytime they argued. I don't want to feel...

About exes: I'm not sure how settled you are in your feelings about it but before we made the decision on poly I insisted they were off limits. Things have a possibility of getting real messy real quick and I'm really not built for that potential disaster. km: That's an awesome idea, I wish...

I guess it just makes things awkward and tense offline. Just unfortunate, because I think it's important they both know how you feel.

Just remember you two see things differently, and that's okay. I would drop it for now, unless later she wants to know more from a non-judgmental standpoint.

Way to put it, Red. For me nothing's over until that connectedness dies. When that's gone the relationship is over, and I have to move on.

I don't have experience with this, but I can say that it's best if you don't ask him if you should give Ewan up. Generally the answer, and the feeling behind it is yes. His insecurities are already loud, and questions like that will give him the impression that he has control over what you do...

Hmm... At this point, I think the only thing you can do is let him know how you feel. I'd really desire some space at this point, because people not coming forward with their issues stresses me out. But I'm sure that's the last thing you want.

When will this passing on of information stop? I don't think Jared knows that he is contributing to the discomfort of everyone involved by telling you what Julie told him, when these are all things you should be hearing for yourself from her mouth. Also, cut him some slack in his defense of...

I'll be here reading all the time, I already know it, lol.

This is what I gathered as well. I think you might be projecting your own desires onto her. She's clearly not down for a one-on-one relationship right now. And that's okay. You just need to figure out how much more time you're going to spend 'waiting' for her to fall into step.

It's very much a possibility I bet. Reaching out for an ego stroking. :rolleyes:

Haha you took the words outta my mouth about the Rihanna reference Red... About the ex, boy, does he sound familiar. I remember mine giving me unnecessary details about his current sex life, in a way that was designed to make me feel inadequate. It didn't even sink in til days later, and at...

I don't know what your relationship with your metamour is like, but it seems like it's gotten to a point where there needs to be more communication between you and her separate from Jared, as well as communication between the three of you. For me, personally, the whole relaying what she says...

I understand that shift. I loved spending time with friends and around people before my mom passed but now it's something I need more than ever. The changes were sudden and surprising to me too.

Good points Cindie. I was never of the belief that love was enough for a relationship, which is why I had to end my last one. Learning about poly too, has allowed me to feel more free in acknowledging the feelings that I do have for others, but I don't feel forced into attaching a final...