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Wow wow wow. I knew you guys had some work to do but I didn't see this coming. I'm sorry to hear you were blindsided by his inability to be compassionate and adult about this. Try not to take personal responsibility for his, as Annabel put it, lack of integrity, because well, it's not yours...

Do you think it's possible your husband might have a personality disorder? I'm not highly educated on them or anything, but this could be a much deeper issue, what with you mentioning his lack of social skills and all. His tantrums just sound... off.

I wonder about this often too. I've had multiple connections, sexually and otherwise, that have molded the way I see poly, and also the way I see myself. At the time I knew that a typical mono relationship with some of these people wouldn't work but that didn't stop me or turn me away from...

I've always been the go-with-the-flow type, after my initial consideration of said interest. Usually it comes up very quickly whether we're compatible or not, within a few conversations. I have still gone ahead and dated people I wasn't compatible with, just because I liked them. Yes and yes...

No need to backpedal. You haven't turned him into anything; you've just been honest. Sometimes that's all it takes -- laying it out on the table plain as day in front of your own face so the truth isn't hiding somewhere beneath the folds of excuses. The bolded? Not okay. It doesn't matter if...

Aw BU... the only thing I can say is that I'm happy you are facing these phantoms, and with determination. Oftentimes things happen to us and we deal by pushing them down down down until it's almost like they never happened. Then life reminds us that yes, it's all still there. Sending you...

LOL! I disagree. Reading posts full of drama can be emotionally draining if I don't exercise some self-control and go peruse other threads. Love that your experience went better than expected, good even. A Mind = Blown? Always win. Keep us posted.

Nathan, you're great lol. Honestly, every time I read your posts I'm like, "Yes! YES!" Just wanted to let you know. :)

None of that has anything to do with the inner workings of a relationship though. Am I going to reach out and hug a complete stranger on the train because she's also a woman? No. Frankly it's not every woman I'd want solidarity with, just like it's not every woman I'd want to be friends with...

Yep. I find that to be the glaring difference those who are childfree and those who aren't, on the forum and elsewhere.

Where is this "clarification" coming from all of a sudden? Why is your husband dictating to you? Have y'all had a conversation about this, or are you just resigned to doing what he wants? This can end up not being good for your mental health, to be frank. I'm gleaning a lot of "I have to, or...

You know TM... I JUST realized what your username is a play on. *smacks forehead for taking so long to get it* Nothing to do with the thread but I find it excellent, lol. :)

Sounds like he's being an ass. I'd probably just let this dwindle.

LMAO! I'm happy to hear everything has been resolved, and in ways that have allowed the relationship between you and your wife to be strengthened. :)

Well, if there was ever a time to have a conversation about what both of you desire out of this relationship, it's right now. No more hiding, no skirting around issues. An honest heart-to-heart with lots of reassurance and a will to commit to whatever is revealed going forward.

Agreed! I was in awe reading away.

I see you've picked up on some of the things I rediscovered as a result of reading and joining the forum. It's so EASY to get lost in the day-to-day responsibilities you completely forget that you were your own primary before the husband, before the kids, before the humdrum, yadda yadda. And...

LOVE this. You sound awesome! :D lol.

I generally feel envious when it comes to my SO drooling over the physicality of other women, specifically those whose body types I'd love to have. So I'll feel envious of said woman. Sometimes it's fleeting, sometimes it lingers for a little longer than that.

I'm concerned about him insisting you're not cut out for poly from this one instance. This assumption that you're not supposed to have adverse reactions is bullshit; I've had to stop my SO from doing the same. Let me feel the way I feel and we can talk about it afterwards. You have that right...