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Okay. From you've said here, OH and GF seem to be emotionally manipulating each other, and not only that, but also you and BF. This is not healthy, nor is it okay. Half of this quad is selfish and demanding. That means it's not working for the other half, which in turn isn't working for the...

Well, now that the freakout storm has passed over and you and your BF are calmer, it's about that time to sit down and share with one another. Trade apologies, acknowledge hurts, reaffirm that you are still in this but learning how to deal with each thing as it comes. He probably said some...

They wouldn't have to be best friends, but if a friendship developed I certainly wouldn't stand in the way. A romantic relationship is unlikely since my SO, though pansexual, is specifically attracted to women and transwomen. If that was the case, I wouldn't worry about them being civil or...

I had this issue with my ex. One of the most aggravating things ever, especially since I encouraged him to acknowledge his attraction to others. He'd get so twisted inside and feel so guilty he'd ask for 'breaks', like that was supposed to be a cure-all.:rolleyes:

I second this. I've found for myself, being completely out of the loop in terms of knowing anything about metamours has usually led to me viewing them as cowgirls until I'm proven otherwise. It's not right to assume but I do do that.

Take comfort in that. He does care for you, obviously.

LMAO! I spit out my water on that one.

That can be a slippery slope. It's not supposed to be a race or a competition; if you need to fill more time, it doesn't need to be with another person. In fact, it can be even more of a detriment. Another = an additional set of characteristics, emotions, habits, etc. that need to be taken into...

Instead of just continually getting agitated by everything that doesn't deal with her being the centre, she needs to be doing the internal work and reading, or else you'll keep getting the short end of the stick. http://www.morethantwo.com/ I'm not sure of more, but there's probably some that...

They're right. You're trying to rationalize where it doesn't make sense to you. I do that also but sometimes it gets to a point where I have to be still and center myself, and mute that analytical voice so I can think about other things.

Not to me. It's unrealistic to expect my SO not to look at other women, and it's unrealistic for him to expect me not to look at other men or women. Illogical, irrational, etc. I've told a girlfriend of my view on this before and she agreed but acknowledged that she still can't handle being...

My SO generally hasn't deviated from anyone that is physically similar to me: well-endowed, average height, dark. That's his ideal. All of his exes but the one just before me have had all of those attributes. He's open to all races, and skintones, but he does have a preference with regards to...

A few things: I really wouldn't dwell on the thought of future children and all that right now. Yes, you being poly does not make you suitable for a lot of people. And that is okay. There is nothing wrong with not being suitable for everyone you want to be suitable for. Do you really wanna...

I don't really know why you feel the way you do, but honestly it's vital you accept yourself as you are, and validate your own self. You love both men. They love you. What about either of those things makes you a "slut"? A "whore"? I know we all have deprogramming to do when it comes to...

Of course you want more. You BARELY get ANYTHING! This is ridiculous. It sounds like she's the boss of you two and what she says goes. Emergency sit-down necessary, ASAP, all three of you. And you need to stress that you're a partner in this too. She's not the centre of everyone else's universe.

I definitely think the next time you post you should start your own blog, Aurelie. You all have come a long way since the OP.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. Once upon a time, in the beginning, I really did wanna know everything, and then there were things I found out I wasn't comfortable with, so I just stemmed that particular flow. My compersion and comfort I've found is borne of knowing about my metamour outside...

SNeacail... I read that post and feel like you know exactly what goes on in my house! LOL kinda scary. I have realized that we need to find ways that works for us both, because we differ a LOT in that sense.

It's a possibility that since nothing will happen due to boundaries in place, giving you updates about T is of no significance to Seamus. He might consider it a complete non-factor.

Yesyesyes! I get that she's trying to express that she's made changes to how quickly she moves due to her moving at light speed when she was single, and *of course* that should be the most telling sign to you both that she's considerate, but no. She needs to be reminded that people outside of...