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Do you think it might be bothering you because you know he's sexting her? Or that you know you wouldn't be doing the same thing if he was in your place? I ask because sometimes complete and total transparency can be a detriment depending on the situation. Like here, you feel that he should be...

I think it's unreasonable to expect people to change the way they post, especially when there are options available that allow you to pretty much forget they exist, if it's that bothersome. An outright insistence makes it seem like new posters are incapable of handling themselves. Feeling...

That's subjective. I haven't seen every newb come here and then leave because they feel insulted; might apply to some, doesn't apply to all. It has happened, for sure, but I've also been witness to people being appreciative about a bare-bones approach, even with stinging words involved. But...

Not at all. Even when we were mono (in practice) he knew there was no ownership and continues to know. I belong to me. He belongs to him. It has always been that way and will continue to be that way. I hate overblown statements like that. Like you gotta be kidding me.

IMO if I came here and all I was getting were "Aww, s'okaaaaay" all the time in response to serious matters and questions it'd be no different than me explaining my relationship to some friends and having them give me the pity face. If I wanted that I would go to those people offline and...

That's great! Is it weird that I feel pride for you? LOL :) I won't lie, when I read the OP and subsequent posts I really worried that this would play out in the ugliest of ways because I figured his knee-jerk reaction could develop into something more. It just goes to show though, you open...

She did mention in that same post you quoted that he was unhappy about several things she's revealed. Rage isn't the go-to response for everyone.

Thanks for clarifying PP.

Definitely. I'm not interested in the sneaking around and all that, and it's an indication I'm not safe from dishonesty from them either.

With regards to your territorial feelings, it's normal to feel that way. The crazed, uneasy thoughts of a metamour becoming pregnant took hold and I couldn't shake it in the beginning, even though my s/o had yet to become physically intimate with anyone else. Eventually I calmed down and...

How did you equate demanding better to barking orders at your gf? That's not what I meant at all. The thing of it is, until you are firm within yourself and also on your position in this relationship, you are at her whim. I think it's important that you work through your issues with self-esteem...

That sounds beautiful Red. :)

So when are you gonna stand up for yourself and voice all of this? And demand better of this relationship and for you individually?

Good for you. I've always found it silly to guilt anyone I was in a relationship with for finding other women desirable. My ex ALWAYS felt bad about it, without my help. I would encourage the acknowledgement but I guess it just registered as 'cheating' in his mind.

Your self-esteem certainly plays a part but this has more to do with her being manipulative. She keeps invalidating your feelings and you keep blaming yourself. All bad.

With regards to this troubling language that keeps popping up: "freaking out in a non-productive way" "because of expressed hurt feelings" "polluted her thing with her lover" NOT GOOD. I dunno if you're aware of this but her continually projecting her guilt and in turn making you feel worse...

Awesome! :) I'm so happy for you! Swim and slosh in the happiness for as long as you can.

Just wanted to say, this is something I correlate to my s/o as well, and partly what helped me through a better understanding of his inner self. It was there before we even met, in other relationships he felt that way. And while he refers to us meeting as the best thing that's ever happened, he...

I relate the most to your sentiments in terms of answering HP's question, LFG. It has been an ongoing process, over time, and poly is just another part of that.

Sorry your friend was so over the line. I have no room for comments like that. How disrespectful and presumptuous. It may be coming from that default mono mindset (more than likely) but it still comes off like an asshole-ish thing to say, between friends. I'd tread lightly with her from now on...