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There was this guy that I talked to who was polyamorous (had a wife and a girlfriend, both of them very meaningful to him). We were just pen pals; we live way far from each other. There was this time that I mentioned to him that I saw a lot of OkCupid profiles in which a poly couple said...

Another quick thing is that my poly IS your poly. I'm quite sure that what I consider poly is also under the umbrella of what you consider poly. It's your poly that isn't my poly. Mine's way more exclusive, while yours includes pretty much anything that means involvement with more than one...

Just read this one. I'll say this. It's a given that what one says is polyamory is what one considers polyamory to be. I'm not going to start all my statements with "in my opinion" or "according to the way I assess situations to be." Anyway, you'd be surprised to know that I very much...

I haven’t read any of these responses, but I just want to say it’s that I don’t like people feeling the need to “class up” what they do by calling it polyamory instead of casual sex or an open relationship. There’s nothing wrong with casual sex, so there’s no need to make yourself feel “classy”...

Just to give an analogy. If a mono person is seeing a bunch of people for casual sex but it is affectionate and it might turn into something more (and the person even hopes to develop ONE relationship that lasts forever), that person doesn't call him or herself "Monogamous" while he/she is...

I think many people on this board can't stand my definition of poly because it allows for less casualness and less preying on others. People don't want to be told they can't be casual or that they can't prey on others, so they insist their casualness and predatory ways are just as dignified as...

I definitely get the "spectrum" and "fluidity" thing. I definitely understand that FWB and casual relationships may well evolve, over time, into something more. If you'll notice, I addressed the OP, who said he was looking for ways that he could interest single, new-to-poly secondaries into...

I don't have a beef with people enjoying or seeking casual sex. Hell, there have been times in my life that I've sought it. On more than one occasion. I'm not some "only meaningful relationships" person. But when I sought casual sex, I called it what it was. I didn't go around saying I was...

Oh, and what I mean by people not being open to casual sexual relationships if they're truly polyamorous is this. A person who's polyamorous WANTS many loves, meaning they seek it. They're disappointed when something is just casual. They don't seek casual sex and think (as an after thought)...

I'll agree with you that casual sexual relationships can be very loving. But if it truly is "very loving" (that is, not just affection, but actual LOVE), then it is no longer casual sex, is it? Then you love the person, or have feelings of love for the person, and you are then engaging in...

Wolfwood, Just skimmed more heavily in this thread. The thing about your situation is that you're not polyamorous. You're just looking for friends with benefits, and your girlfriend is okay with it. I don't have any beef with what you do, especially if your girlfriend is okay with it. It's...

Just to continue the story I told above. Even though I found out about the guy being in a polyamorous relationship just before our first date (because I discovered it, not because he told me), I still feel that he was a little bit deceptive in the way he behaved at first, in order to reel me...

I was a female secondary, and here's how it went down. We met on a dating site. He had himself listed as single and straight. There was absolutely no trace of his being in an open relationship on his profile. He and I talked online for two weeks, then he pushed for a coffee meeting. I said...

I was a secondary for a while, and my situation was kind of complicated because I already knew the girlfriend of the guy who I was seeing. We didn't need to meet for the first time because she already knew me. However, it'd been about 11 months since we'd seen or talked to each other (when I...

Lol - yeah. i think the problem in the conversation is that people think that being "poly" is a compliment. Not saying it isn't a good thing, but I'm not saying "poly" as if it's a compliment. If one couple is more poly than another, that doesn't mean that couple is better. It just means...

Oh, I think it's easier to be happy in monogamy. I definitely think there are plenty of happy mono couples. I said they have their problems, but I think it's an easier relationship structure. They don't always last forever, but I think most people are more at peace in monogamy for a longer...

The thing is, your sample size isn't any bigger than mine. Or however much bigger your sample size is than mine, it's still not big enough for YOUR assessment of poly to be any more valid. I mean, we can go back and forth all day with "Well, the couples I see are fine" (you) and "the couples...

Have a lot of work to do and can't reply right now, but I probably will later...or tomorrow. But just want to say something about the jaded thing. Maybe it's from reading the troubles on here. People just don't seem happy. I wish they would like each other more, that's all. I wish a woman...

I agree it's not wrong for people to post about their poly relationship struggles and difficulties. People do need to reach out for help when they need it. What I'm saying is that the content of the posts saddens\ me. I wish women could just like each other more. When you stop to think about...

I see what you are all saying, and I understand your point. But the thing is, I don't think poly people who don't post on message boards seeking advice and help are "happy," either. I post on a general relationships and dating board full of mono people, too, and the people there say the same...