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I get your drift, XYZ, but there are obviously reasons (physical/emotional) why you wouldn't be interested in sex. Could it be you just didn't have an attentive lover at that early age? Was it painful? Was it not "knock your socks off, rockin' hot sex"? Some woman are not orgasmic. Are you one...

Mono....what did you do to Redpepper to so overwhelmingly win her over? That is awesome, you two...and your extended family should continue to have a very happy and fulfilling life on this planet.

Love your signature line Van.....it is truly what life is about....and it sounds like you are approaching your venture into poly the right way. I hope your "second" guy and yes we all agree we don't like that term, comes around to you and your way eventually. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

Quath and Mono speak the truth! Learn (more and deeper about yourself) and practice the love and communication needed to make this work. Of course, we have to have partners/lovers willing to go this extra mile with us...

Well put, XYZ. There is no competition. That's not healthy and can't exist in a truly poly relationship. Ally is a very good word. Different partners/lovers may have different "strengths" in their connection, but that doesn't mean a hill of beans. We're all allies in love and life.

What??? If you are physically healthy, why did you take something for your sex drive? You expected it to change your orientation? What??? You sound confused inside. Regarding your asexuality, you knew you were asexual before you were sexually abused??? At what age were you aware??? These are...

That takes major cajones, my friend. You have my great respect and wishes for continued happiness.

Curious, I don't know your age, but it sounds like you are somewhat young. I don't mean that in a bad way, so don't take it as such, but there is just so much growing to do! So much discovery ahead of you. Maybe pain, but maybe passion and a fuller life too. Who knows? None of us do! We have all...

Difficult question to answer, as each group may have different ways of sharing, coping, etc. My wife and my other love live under the same roof with me, and my wife works with me at my office. Our kids are in college, and for the most part, out of the way. I alternate nights in each of my...

XYZ.....you have a lot on your plate. The biggest obstacle I see however is that you are not happy with or at peace with yourself. I assume that because you have a mental disorder, as you state, that you have been or are under some sort of counseling/treatment for it. Surely they are addressing...

Gotta love the communication, boys. Way to go Mono......proud of you!

Intros can be tough....we're still somewhat in the closet in this small town. Out of deference to my wife and our other, I really like Mono's "lifelove" label. Secondary just doesn't do it.......

That's wonderful Mono......enjoy every moment like that, that you can! They sure feel good.

You are indeed 3 lucky people. Savor all the time you can together. All my best.:)

It doesn't have to be typical, that's the beauty of each of our situations. Nonetheless, it is fantastic! That sense of being "completed" is about the best high you can be on. Congrats!

Aussielover, that is awesome! It is so great when we can form those strong love connections with others, who become family. That's what I'm talkin' bout!!!!

Wasn't that the title of a Disney movie? lol! Reminds me of a terrier......it does roll off the tongue a little easier than "lifelove" I'll give you that Mono.

Bottom line is we all have to live and do what works for us, and as others have said there is no right, no wrong. Regardless of our definition of poly, we all realize that love is the key ingredient in our lives. No recipe can survive without it.

Nothing wrong with it Licious....sort of like following your heart......

Following your heart is the best advice you can give, Mono. Following others because of their expectations of you, makes you a sheep. Who wants to be a sheep? For decades my eye was always on the future. Studying, planning, working. I missed quite a bit of life. Thank God(if you believe) for my...