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Because in a mono relationship, you can get away without the level of trust in your partner and emotional self-awareness, communication skills, etc. You can--it's better if you have them, of course, but you can manage without. Poly relationships pretty much don't work without these things.

Definitely in theory, but... ImaginaryIllusion, thanks especially for your reply. I needed to hear it. YGirl, I did move out, I've been out a little over a month. Haven't talked to my exes in a few weeks. I'm still in love with one, so it really hurts. My DD is doing great now that we're...

I don't know if poly is the right word for me. Part of this is internal backlash from my first serious poly relationship going south--way south. Domestic violence south (not directed at me, it was among the other three members of the quad, but very disturbing nonetheless.) I know that I...

Red, that sounds like "I told you so," when really the issue would probably have come up through a more gradual approach, too. It's just an adjustment. The relationship is actually going quite well, all things considered. It doesn't feel honeymoon-y (which is good and bad, I suppose--bummer...

Hey, folks. I'm introverted and almost a month into a living arrangement with my partners, my metamour, and the five kids in the house (one of whom is mine.) I'm coming from being a single mother to that one child, and I can honestly say that life as a single parent afforded me more me-time...

Not alone, Kari! Hello, I'm joining a triad (as the the third woman) that is currently going through this a fair amount. The two who've been in a relationship 12 years used to have good sex pretty often, and now hardly ever, with their third having been in with them for a year. I am not sure...

I don't think only certain MBTI types can be in poly relationships, but I think the MBTI is an important indicator of how people will respond and handle the relationship and whatever problems come up. I happen to be an INTJ, and very proud of that. ;-) We're pretty rare. The man in our quad...

You know, I probably would do better at keeping this quiet if there wasn't a move involved and if I weren't so proud. People ask if I'm moving for a job or what and it's hard to justify it if I'm just moving from my own house with a hella low mortgage into a communal living situation. As much...

A few points: I'm going into a triad/quad situation (long story, as always.) I'm having to move. Not my ideal, in that way, but I think the relationship is worth it. We met on OKCup!d, and were just friends for the longest time. Things ended up falling together a few months ago, and the...

Thank you for listing those resources. I will make a point to follow through on those.

Thank you! It really runs the gamut, doesn't it? From "don't get into the relationship until your kids are out of the house" to "call up the ACLU and let the bugger try for custody!" I appreciate the resource. Soooo scary. *sigh* Open to hearing any other insight from folks!

Hey, all. What can I do to protect myself and my daughter from her dad's family? I'm moving into a poly family, and we'll be in the same state as BD and his parents. I SUCK at being in the closet, I just do. I can handle it at work and stuff, but not being able to post anything on fb or...

Hi! Idaho, eh? I'm moving out to SE Washington to be the fourth in a quad. Among us, we have 5 kids. :-) It's not right next door or anything, but if you're ever traveling through or whatnot, let us know! :-)

I can't contribute too much to this topic, because I'm fairly early in my first poly relationship, as well (a few months, most of which has been long distance). While I was visiting, this did come up a bit, though. We're a quad of one man and three women. One of the women has been married to...

I'm feeling a bit disrespected, here. That's probably my own "fault" for not providing all of the information, but there's SO MUCH information, that it's hard to know what's pertinent and what isn't. Here's a bit of information about me. I'm a very intelligent, self-aware person, which means I...

Quince is 20, and yeah, I kind of think of her as a freeloader. I feel like she's hurt Apple and Rose more than she's helped, but they definitely don't see it that way. It's their relationship, so not really my problem. No situation is perfect. Yeah, Rose doesn't have much to do when Quince and...

Regarding the third (I'll call her Quince), originally, she was on her way out, but she saw how good things were when I was there, and wanted in on it, basically. She had previously checked out of the relationship, and is now working on it again, and because Apple and Rose (my significant...

Yep. If you and your husband each have an outside lover-friend/partner/spouse, you'd be an "N" instead of a V. See it? Regarding explanations, I'd just say you're looking for a straight guy to have a secondary (?) relationship with.

*sigh* All of what you've said makes sense. It's going to be hard convince her that I'm happy when I know those first few months are going to be tense. Their third doesn't like me much, feels threatened, etc. And it's a big adjustment for me. Don't get me wrong, I am excited, and I'm in love...

I'm 25, a single mom, and I am getting into my first real poly relationship. I love my boyfriend and girlfriend, who are married. We are planning on me moving to be with them. This will put me 1800 miles away from my parents, instead of 600. My mom is devastated. She's convinced that they're...