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Odd thoughts All of this self-analysis, pain, growth, awareness, love, laughter, joy, new friends made... and the thought comes to me that maybe this isn't about Tess's journey into polyamory, but my own. Sunny day. Think I'll go for a walk. Freetime

Quads and hug orgies? I need a bigger shirt :cool:

Yeah, waaaaay too late. But even if I'd thought of this, I wouldn't have set any kind of limit. Intimacy is intimacy. Tess is still with another man, whether they are holding hands, or power humping, it really doesn't matter. Tess's bf lives a fair distance away, so it's been hit and miss...

II, TP, FT... Is this an online V? :p Have a great day, TP. You make me smile. :D

There is some truth to this, TP. With my A++ personality type, I'm currently working the "Bring it on" approach to all of this. It is perhaps not the safest method of dealing with life change, but it does keep it interesting. Unfortunately, I agree with you. What I am trying to do though, TP...

I don't even know what "slow down" means, TP. Less lust? Less texting? Less talking? Less truth? Which one should I ask Tess to slow down on? There have been only a very few days in the past 80+ that were fear-free. I treasure those days, and I am grateful to see myself getting more in tune...

I tell lies It's true. I do. I reread this entire thread, making sure I was paying attention to what advice was being offered up, when I noticed I seemed to obsess on one particular idea/comment made more than once throughout this thread. I've done this by hiding a lie inside a truth. (It's a...

Awe inspiring. Heart warming, inspiring and loving. What you have, is what I hope to create. Thanks Mono, for this. I see possibility and hope for T and I. I'm going to show T this thread, my hope is it will help us get a bigger discussion going. FT

NYCindie, you made my day. Thank you.

Thanks SNeacail, Beodude123. I appreciate the advice and feedback. Here's the thing though, for anyone new to poly-- what's the real issue here? Time after time I'm finding out that what I thought was the problem really wasn't. Gotta run, be back later.

Reality. There's not one area of my life not in flux, changing, or in danger of tipping over. I'm not in a dark place, just one that needs a lot of attention and I'm feeling pretty much on my own to deal with it. wah wah snivel snivel. I know what I need to do, I just don't know how right now...

Really? Old, tired and replaceable. I'll be married 20 years tomorrow and I'm wondering: what was the fucking point? No idea. I have glimpses of this working out. I'm meeting some very cool people I otherwise wouldn't have, and have had some truly awesome experiences in these past 3 months...

As this journey continues for T and I, I'm going to have to change what I post here. When I started I had Ts agreement to post about her and how I saw this going for us/me. Now that we have established connections in poly land locally I have to consider the anonymity and feelings of all...

Amongst all the craziness... ... is a great deal of love, light and laughter. This week has been one of the best times of my life, and one of the most touching of my marriage, for me. I've had a few unexpected sorrow-filled moments, but most of this trip was spent in love and laughter. As we...

And as we bring our evening to a close.. ... I can only wonder at the oddness of it all. The American Ballet Theater company performing Don Quixote at the Metropolitan, dinner at an excellent Italian restaurant, and now, off to bed. Night, folks. Its been a stellar day. Talk to you all...

A joyful time I'm having the time of my life with Tess right now in NYC. I've smiled so much my teeth have a tan! Laughed, loved, held hands, walked and talked. Horse and buggy tour of Central Park, had awesome midday sex, and are now getting ready for the Met opera tonight. A surprise...

I'm going to write a book, titled: The Fastest Way to Experience Pain in the Creation of a Polyamorous Relationship. Outline 1) Pretend you know what you're getting into 2) Rush into it even after folks suggest you slow down 3) Repeat 1 and 2 until you're divorced, insane, or 4) Decide to...

The previous post was/is a snapshot of the lowest I've gone in this journey, other then Day 1. The anger and self pity are indeed pretty obvious, but were also true at that moment. I really want to edit it and make it sound less... snivelly, but that's just another way to lie about what's going...

Really? I have to wonder if I'm insane. Uncertainty, fear, anger, remorse, love, lust, acceptance, openness... Repeat as needed. I'm learning what TMI really means and why some things are best left unspoken, if not unknown. Tess is more in love with this guy then I ever remember her being with...

I just spent an hour typing out a message only to have it vanish when I hit submit. I'll try again later when I get back from my meeting. I'm surviving. Not much more right now. I'll take what I can get.