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Poly postmortem On August 30 my significant other of a little over six and a half years left me. This means that I am 100% single. I am sure in time that I will see some great purpose to it and see how it was my fault and hers and be able to be philosophical about it. Right now this isn't...

A lot has happened since I updated last. First of all, I can work out again and hit the gym last Sunday. I didn't do as well as I would have liked but I did ok. The good news is that I'm in better cardio shape than I thought I was. The bad news is that my weight max isn't where I want it to...

I would say it depends. If you view poly as a sort of political or social statement then yes, you should be more strident. However, if you just don't mind that your SO has other relationships and you would like to have other relationships yourself someday(or already have said relationships)...

Actually it can be a really big deal. For example, what if you meet someone who you get along fabulously with, start dating, become extremely close emotionally and find out that the person you are dating is extremely into bondage. As in "will turn down sex if it isn't mixed with bondage" into...

The answer to this one for me is pretty easy. No sex, no love. Period. Of course, I'm biased as sex is the primary reason I get involve in relationships at all. For me, all of my other needs can be fulfilled by friends and the occasional cuddle party without the extreme mental, spiritual...

As a poly guy located just outside of NYC who uses OKC I have a quick question. If you don't mention poly or polyamorous in your profile, how will someone who is looking specifically for poly people find you?

Wow, where to start. Things were pretty much going the way they have been going. I moved into my new place which is working well. It is very quiet which is nice. I've been trying to get more active in the local poly community which is also going well. Right now the big thing that's...

Maybe. To be blunt, I tend to recommend people to the poly community when something has gone wrong or they need their "Poly 101" cred. The larger poly community is really, really good at teaching new ways to communicate and do poly. Once that's done,however, it is a lot easier to find a...

Hrm. That's a tough one and it is understandable that you would feel put out by this. I think at least a small part of it might be(and I can't say for certain as I don't know the people or community in question) part of the purpose of the larger poly community. From what I've noticed, people...

Let's say that you wanted to bust someone on emotional infidelity. What proof would you use? How would you distinguish that from someone who was just a close friend? How would you make a strong case as opposed to, "Well I just know" ? How would you establish the line in such a way as the...

Hmm. I will never think of female sopranos the same way ever again.

TY. I wish I could say that it was All Her Fault. But I know it isn't all her fault or even most her fault. It is either nobody's fault or my fault and both of those end up in the same responsibility bin, that being my own. I hope at some point to be "uber" enough to be able to go out and...

With the greatest respect to your editorializing, I would be amazed if anything any of us could add would trump the simple, brief summary.

.... I really hope you are misreading the situation. But I think that you have pretty much summed it up.

Well, today was a better day. It started out poorly with a muscle spasm in my shoulder, but my SO's OSO was able to fix that. I got some stuff in the mail that I was looking forward to, which is awesome. I've found that I have up and down times in regards to where I'm at. For the most...

Thanks. Two words an an emotioncon were a great help(seriously, no sarcasm. They were a great help.)

It's true, it's true. Few things are as titilating as eros, it seems.

TY. It is hard to reach the perfect balance, but I still try. However, I find that an assumption of good faith helps a lot. Hence why I didn't take offense. I assumed you were acting in good faith. You, it seems are doing the same. With a difficult subject it helps a great deal. Yeah...

First of all, your tone is just fine. Neither you nor anyone else here has ever given me any reason to doubt your good intentions and now is no execption. I apologize for my vagueness. I have a habit of over-explaining and, in order to be respectful, sometimes I underexplain. Mental and...

Well, it's like this. Being poly has shown me, in painful detail, all of the flaws that I can't really do anything about and that wouldn't have come up otherwise. I got to watch someone that I love so, so much gradually slip away from me. I got to see the questions that used to kindof...