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My rule(that hasn't already been mentioned) is actually pretty basic. Get a hobby that doesn't involve any of your partners. This is 600x more true if you are not dating more than one person at a time. If you do not have a hobby(or at least something that keeps you busy), especially when your...

First of all, the bad news. Yeah, the roller coaster sucks. You aren't crazy, that hurting is actually hurting. Also, there is a chance that your wife might leave you. This also really sucks. Now, with that said, there is a lot of good news. First of all, communication is going to be...

Ok, here's the deal. I'm giving my SO a ride to a big bridesmaid-palooza thing she's doing in NYC this Saturday. The thing is, I am not a big fan of bridesmaid stuff AT ALL. So, I'm planning to make my own fun. Usually I check an online newsletter called Souldish to find out what's going...

Yeah. I wish I could say that I decided on the course because of some great meditation combined with vast research topped off with consulting with great sages. It was because I was(and am) pretty sick and tired of flinging myself against the dating wall. I did some hard thinking about it...

I've heard of NRE lasting for about a week(that's really rare) or as long as about 4 or 5 years(that's also rare). For what it's worth I've noticed that around 3-6 months seems to be the norm.

TY. And this is nothing. You should see the arguement I'm having with myself in regards to BDSM and freedom. It reminds me that I think too much. :p Actually Chogyam Trungpa talked about that once. He theorized that people in the United States shouldn't talk about attaining happiness...

Well, the way I interpreted the response(which may not be the way it was meant) was that whatever happens to someone in dating that it can't really affect one's happiness because happiness is a fundamental state. And if one sticks to that idea(which may be me misunderstanding) then we get into...

Question in regards to fundamental state? Does that mean that it is unchanging? If so, how does one obtain it if one doesn't already have it? If it isn't unchanging, how can dating not threaten to diminish if not destroy it? A considerable amount of our music and literature in western...

The below quote is from the "Learning Compersion" thread. I apologize if singling this quote out brings any discomfort on your part, SC. This is just the best expression of an idea that I have seen in pretty much 99.9% of poly exchanges and I have a question about. I have started a separate...

DharmaBum23's Blog First, a little bit of background. I've been practicing poly constantly for about 5 years or so. Part of the consequences of the dating network I am a part of is that it is difficult for my primary partner to meet my physical needs(which I discussed them with a therapist...

I think that you are correct when it comes to more abstract areas(like the mental act of loving people). However, when it comes down to physical things(like time spent with an SO, sex, death rays, whatever) that is where I think Twain's expression comes into play. I do not have scientific...

“Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.”: Mark Twain I think that the first thing I have noticed about compersion is that it become MUCH more difficult if you don't have what you need. If you are trying to learn compersion I think it is a good idea to make sure that as...

That's the thing. I'm involved with one of the many Dharma centers in the upstate New York area that are traditional Tibetian(technically I would be considered the Rime, or non-sectarian, tradition). The teaching themselves are quite wonderful but they tend to attract people who are only...

Beyond the realm of the ideal Ok. This is totally unrealistic. It leaves the realm of the ideal and ventures into the fantastic. As of late, I am doing well to meet someone who isn't a rabid atheist. :p With that said, here goes. My current relationship structure is very good, but I would...

Hello outerworld! Where to start? I just found this community via reviewing comments on a poly essay and it looks like an interesting place to be. I am 34 years old, currently involved in a sortof triad(there is my girlfriend, her other boyfriend, and her girlfriend. We are involved with the...

In a nutshell, I'm 34 years old; I have been poly in two relationships (one in around 2001 and the other from 2005 up until today). I have had quite a few things that I/ve had to work on in poly that are at enough of a low roar that I wouldn't point them out as current issues, jealousy, worry...