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1. I did not spend much time or effort in getting to know my Beta's wife. Our feelings for each other (my Beta and I) and NRE escalated, and that was precisely when we should have been spending more time with my husband and his wife. But we instead spent every available moment together, just the...

I am in love with my Beta. Fucked up in love. It's been 8 months. The NRE phase is over - it's not manic and unbridled anymore. That was superb while it lasted! Now I just want him around. I want him to live here with me and my husband. I want to spend that kind of time with him. Get to know him...

This weekend, my husband and I participated in something that we have talked about doing before, but had never actually done it. After a strange and uncomfortable few hours with my new boyfriend, his wife, another couple and another guy, in the couple's house, involving kinky play and such, we...

Thank you, everyone, for offering me your words. A lot of this resonates with me, and it makes sense. I don't want to miss time the three of us can spend together, as it always feels good when we do. There is good energy in this situation, kindness, respect, and fun. While C and I have both had...

Had a conversation with my husband tonight, and it's left me thinking about this one particular thing. I'd like to hear your opinions/experiences. My husband, C, is currently seeing someone, and we've talked about the three of us going to the local Ren Faire together in September. And I'm not...

Beta is another term for secondary, yes. I don't like either, but sometimes you need them for reference. When I was seeing my other I called him my "other significant other."

Such an excellent and helpful link. I recently ended a beta relationship, and felt the wind knocked out of my sails as a result. I know I need introspection and honesty with myself before I can pursue or open up to another one. I've known that I needed some time, and this list shows me the...

I few weeks ago, my husband (C) told M that he would not see engage in their relationship until she made a decision about her boyfriend. He held true to that, which I was not sure he would do. But he did. So here's the drama...which I do believe is the final drama of this situation. M told her...

My ideal is that if my husband cares for someone, I want to care for that person, too, and vice versa. I want to socialize, have dinner together, enjoy each other's company. What I've recently learned is that this doesn't always happen right away. And me being welcoming and generous at the...

I have had a real challenge accepting and supporting my husband's relationship with a new woman. They have been involved for several months, and are currently in a bit of a holding pattern while they work some things out - things like her other boyfriend that doesn't know of this relationship...

This post really got me this morning, as I am in the same boat regarding my emotions being so up and down right now after a period of feeling pretty good about things. It's gut wrenching to see my inconsistencies and to try so desperately to talk myself through them. Big hugs to you, Violet, and...

So easy to fall into the trap. :)

Wow! I'm sorry I haven't logged on until now. These posts have been very helpful, mostly to converse with others who have a strong opinion on the subject and are able to say why. I don't look at my situation as having a right and a wrong. I know what feels right for me, and I want my husband...

Thank you everyone for the feedback and advice. It is greatly appreciated. Last night C&M were talking and she was bringing things up about their relationship. He told her they don't need to have that conversation until she talks to her boyfriend. That made me feel really good and really happy...

I totally agree, and this is exactly my gut feeling. But I am trying to focus on my boundaries. If my husband continues to do something that I don't agree with, what do I put in place for myself so that I am not angry and judgmental? How do I remove myself? We do talk about it, and he gets why I...

Thank you for the advice. It is sticky, and I do very much want to leave the stickiness in their hands for them to deal with. I thought I could ask that she just not stay over for now. She's welcome here, but the idea of hanging out, her staying over, and then having breakfast the next day is a...

My most important criteria for anyone I'm involved with is for them to be open with any and all significant others. The degree of openness is between them, of course, but I will not get involved with anyone who is cheating on a partner. I accept that everyone manages their relationships as they...

I agree with your concerns. She is much younger than Cole and me. I have to keep that in perspective. I am a huge proponent of defining one's own boundaries and holding to them. I do not think breaking them for the "right" person is ever a good idea or healthy. But, say someone wants to open...

I am finding myself feeling not so comfortable with my husband's new love, and I'm trying to keep my mouth shut about it until I understand my emotions a bit better. This is all very new to us. It's only been a year this month. This is his first relationship where he is using the word "love,"...

I am going to print and laminate this along with your other post that starts with "(r)evolutionary shift." I want to carry this with me to remind me what I am working toward. I will credit you, of course :-) Thank you for the inspiring words.