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Do you have any platonic female friends that could look at your profile and maybe critique for you? I'm thinking friends, because they know you, and presumably care about you, and they could identify if you're coming across as you; or point out things that maybe they think aren't working for...

I was sexually abused over lots of years and by different people as a child, so I'm a little touchy about what constitutes 'first.' I suspect that most of the 'problems' that followed were very much related to that. I also did not know that until I was 29. Given that, I first chose to have sex...

That sounds like a pretty good reason to end it. It's not really productive to "should" on yourself. Feelings are what they are. There is no "should." Telling yourself you shouldn't have feelings doesn't help. It's perfectly okay to feel bothered. About anything. Could be an indicator that...

I really recommend this article to you: http://davidlnoble.com/so-somebody-called-you-a-unicorn-hunter/ It's long, but well worth the read. I think it might help you understand why they might be having trouble. I think it would help you understand why you are having some of the problems you're...

I just had to reply, I was so stunned to see this subject line in the list of 'new posts,' because this is the topic of my local poly meet tomorrow! :) I think perhaps my realization was not all that sudden. I read Stranger In A Strange Land (Heinlein) when I was very young (10?). It was...

omfsm, THIS! so very this (also my observation, Opalescent):

I have come to realize that FBF is not the person I go to for communication. :) That said, I have come to the acceptance that he communicates what he feels he needs to. And that's not much, to me. He recently expressed to me his lack of understanding as to why people make so much noise...

One more: He said he was going to go kill some things in Skyrim and forget about the world for awhile. I told him to mind his knees. He chuckled, and said 'clever girl, you know your memes' :D I'm not a geek, but I'm a good geek-hag.

Thanks, IP. :D I'm home sick today, and was yesterday too. :P It's very weird. I'm not so sick that I can't get out of bed, but I am clearly to sick to go to work. I'm still wavery about the breakup. I'm mostly doing my no-contact by not thinking about it. Being careful to switch the...

I vote for you standing up for yourself and not allowing yourself to be used. Sounds like there's a lot of potential there for you to get hurt. One of the common wisdoms around here is that this doesn't work: Relationship broken, add more people. If you guys have a shot at being open, it...

I like that. I say trust your gut, and do not agree to move them if it's not what you really want to do. CBF, 'helped' me move, although he did not want to; and that resulted in my bookcase 'falling' off the dolly in the parking lot. :P If you're having mixed feelings, or very clear that you...

So I chatted with him last night. We discussed many things, pretty trivial, and healthcare came up. He spoke about his plan b; and I said, well, if you didn't want to do that, you could marry me and get health benefits. He laughed, and muttered something about the lamest proposal ever. Which...

I thought of you while I was reading it, Marcus. :D And that *is* the bit I wanted to quote. I couldn't find it when I went back over it (and my eyes were bleary at that point).

I found this to be a fascinating and articulate discussion: http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2013/01/24/theproblemwithpolynormativity/

If that was for me, de rien ;) For me it was freeing. Does it to help to hear that I never planned to marry or have children. I'm not done living, but I am fairly certain, at this point, that I have now lived longer than half my life. And I'm not sorry. I've had moments, some more...

I saw this anonymous quote elsewhere tonight, and when I read this thread, I remembered it. "When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my...

I agree. This: MizJaneQ, you really are brilliant, y'know? I wasn't married, and didn't have nearly the years in that you did; but this is exactly how I felt. Exactly.

LR, I love your description of your own home, and how you want it to be, physically and emotionally. It's so lovely. And if you're composing in Word, you need not do the symbol insert. I just type cafe and Word automagickally does the accent over the e, and then I erase the c-a-f and type...

Whoa is right! but this gives me the opportunity to ask a question. I mean, stepping barefoot on a cake seems like a very easy thing to do for someone. What turns me off is that is included with 'hello.' Are there quiet people with ...shall we say, odd tastes, who find people, fall in love...

I wasn't married, but my men were/are/were best friends. I don't know what their damn status is, they talk way less than I would to a dear friend, and they don't discuss their friendship with me. :) I was mono with FBF for two years. Early in that, he met CBF and hired him to work for FBF...