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(I don't think that was a total hijack.) I'd wager it happens to most people who have more than one lover, even serial monogamists. Me, I can't even remember my own name sometimes. But I've changed it, twice. My step-mom used to call my dad by her first husband's name a lot, although he'd...

aww, I'm so sorry. I'm so glad your others are coming to hold you up. big virtual hugs for you and yours. Holding you in the light...

Your OSOs know that they're in a poly relationship, right? I heartily second this. I had a similar question, and someone said that to me (thank you, whoever you were), and it brought me a great deal of peace to find that answer. This! Ours is turning out to be a compromise for all of us...

I'm glad you feel helped. Isn't he generous, to offer. (sorry, it ticks me off) He needs to a) comfort you, and b) tolerate your emotions Maybe you guys need to have more discussion and talk about what is and is not failure. Maybe your definition needs expanding. It's my understanding...

Just an fyi, if your husband and D are having sex, then it's a triad. If they're each only having sex with you, it's a vee. There's a glossary around here somewhere. Congrats on your new bundle of joy, and your happy whatever you are! :) I say I'm in a vee that is a sort of an emotional...

I was just saying on another thread... CBF often forgets where I am (like when I'm in another city, visiting FBF) and calls me when he's on his way home from work. I have been taking his calls when I'm there. FBF has been very understanding and doesn't seem to mind. I doubt he'd tell me much...

I'm glad to hear you will continue being first her friend. I am surprised at how often this situation occurs. I think this is the third time I've read a similar story on these boards. The other ones I read about seem to have gone down in a fiery ball of flame. Or are currently causing slow &...

I wrote this, long ago in my misspent youth. ;) While I was searching for it, I also found this gem: Fear is just a place that love has not yet filled. I had a lot of fear in my young life. My dad had been lecturing me on the power of saying yes to stuff (much like in the movie Yes Man, but...

Oh excellent. Because it wasn't going to be weird enough for three of us to be together....we couldn't manage it in August, we couldn't manage it for my birthday, now we're scheduled for christmas. With family. Yah, that won't be weird. It may not be, I don't know. I've already laid it all...

Are you sure he doesn't feel that, or is just not showing it at the moment? That sucks. I was really worried, when I started seeing FBF, because CBF almost always calls me at least once when I'm with him. (note, this is not 'constant' texting or calling, this is ONCE. and I was worried...

I am 52 years old. I have been watching Rudolph since it first aired in 1964. I still get all verklempt when Clarice sings 'There's Always Tomorrow.' In-dee-PEN-dent "I'm cuuuuuuuude! She said I'm cuuuuuuuuuuude!!!" Bumbles bounce.

I love the lovers who love to love the love. :) I kinda love my life right this minute. FBF seems to be closer. Both of them helped me tonight with a srsly big job application. <3

I can hardly believe it's been a year since FBF let me know . . . umm, that he was interested. Still. Anew. He called me 'my love' on the phone the other night. *swoon* I told him I love him the weekend before (before three days ago). My timing was completely sucky. I've been thinking on...

Yah, it's not good. And I'm accustomed to it. I was reading someone else in here, realizing that her husband lied, in spite of knowing it's not 'cheating' and being open, etc. It gave me strength. It is his way, and it really isn't malicious. It's a lifetime of protection. I have learned...

Thanks, GG. :) [aside: When we first came to California, many moons ago, my mother was horrified to find the freeway signs in San Francisco pointed to the 'GG Bridge.' She just thought it sacrilegious or something] If that man's lips are moving, he's lying, pretty much. But I think he...

Excellent questions, thanks, Meera. I kinda really want the romantic xmas with FBF. CBF family xmas is too tentative to plan on. CBF does not attach ridiculous amounts of romance to our relationship. When we've gone to the big family dinner, we usually get toasted (and stay there overnight)...

So. Every year, CBF's family does this huge xmas eve deal with another family. They've been having the same meal for a generation now, and there's new little ones in the tradition. Same fabulous meal year after year. (his mom is a gourmet cook) I've been going to it since we started dating...

First, there's no reason to drag 'normal' into it. No aspect of poly is 'normal,' if you're talking about statistics. The fact that tons of people do it means it happens, and that can be 'normal,' but it's not statistically normal, because way more people are not-poly than are poly. Me? I want...

My father used to say that people's feet tell the truth way better than their words. (well, what he actually said was: You gotta look at their feet, kid.) Doesn't matter what the words are, especially if the words and actions conflict. His feet are telling you the truth.

Yes, yes you could really be so lucky. :) I just wanted to say that. I felt much the same when mine began.